It's a good song. I enjoyed it. You could work on adding some tone to your voice at the start but the vocals are REALLY a step up from the other ones. I think I've commented on your last song, and your guitar playing could be cleaner but it's the little imperfections that make it good. Also, the music you write is good, just work on making the lyrics (Referring to Um Kid) a little less like you're trying really hard to rhyme. It just needs to flow. Everything else is good though.

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lol that song was unaturally catchy..considering how simple it was! I actually listened to the whole thing so I think your song ideas are pretty good.

You can work on the vocals a bit more..some of the singers were better then the others.

Work on the dynamics, For instance "we will work it out" could be louder.

Overall all i can say is nice simple song idea, sometimes simplicity is the best way to go.

Can you crit our new song, Dreamer, at www.myspace.com/anidealrevenge
it will be most appreciated

very very nice. dark and smooth like Wesley Snipes.
"There but for fortune go you or I"- Phil Ochs
Back for my second crit..lol

I just head the 5th song..Done

I like this song. It is very dark and sad at the same time, kind of reminds me of rhcp-under the bridge..and you know thats a good thing.

Your vocals are getting real better, in this song it was better then the other one i head, "the kids" i think. I like when you do some of that vibrato with your voice.

The lyrics are pretty simple but you can hear that there is feeling behind it. The guitar work is not bad, I like the little part at the end.

It is very raw though if you get wat i mean, this is more apparant with the change of dynamics (when you attack the strings really hard)

So overall, its a nice acoustic piece. If i heard it live, i would be entertained.

If you dont mind, watch/listen to this jam?