ive basically finished this song, i just gotta fix up the structure of it slightly and then its done. this is probably a progressive song, but let me know if im wrong...anyway, im making 2 versions, a short one and a long one to see which is better. this one is the short version.


Last edited by thecameronator at Jul 23, 2007,
I must say, I quite liked it
A lot actually.
But I didn't really like the two lead parts in bar 9 & 10.
The just didn't sound right :S

Keep working on it, it's great

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thanks for the crit man, glad to hear u liked it, may i ask what u didnt like about the lead parts in bar 9&10, just so i know how too improve on it,
Last edited by thecameronator at Jul 23, 2007,
critting as i listen...

the intro was weird, but in a good way
when the distortion came in... again, weird but in a good way

and i have to say, when it speeds up, it is quite nice... i very much so like it.

not so much to say... other than, very nice.
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Quite not in my taste, but it's fine. Needs some arrangement work, because now it seems pretty chaotic, and I'd also fix the leads, especially the part with the triplets and rests, it doesn't sound good for me.

And I also liked it more when it sped up. Expecially the riff in measure 45 is decent, but you haven't given it the space it deserves. It's too good to keep it just in 1 measure and the small run afterwards is cool, but it cuts the tension that the riff built up. I mean, if it rocks that much, extend it, because you wanna bang your head to it, and banging takes more time
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This intro is awesome! Strange, but awesome.

Uh.. yeah... bar 7... the timing for the lead is really wierd.

Ooooo, I really like what you have going on at bar 12. You should make that go longer.

I didn't really like it when the bass came in... it's just too low. It just doesn't sound good.

This song is REALLY strange.

Wait, WHAT? Metal?! This is kick ass!

Uh... 61 and what comes after is WAY to dissonant.

I think you could maybe tidy up the transition that goes into the outro. It's too abrupt.

I did like the outro though.

Cool song. 8/10, because of the strangness. But if you like it that way, it's cool.

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Ok I'm going at this piece by piece:

- The intro is perfect, very brave to use the diminished chord, and nice way holding it to build tension, the lead guitar is also really cool.

- Intro part 2 (palm muting) really good drums, nice stuff with the cymbals, wish I could do drums like that. The bit at bars 24 - 26 is great, you should maybe lengthen that or something (or then again maybe not, leaves you wanting for more...)

- Next part is way to short, like someone said earlier, give me some time to bang my head

- The part with the 4/4 - 5/4 time changes is not bad, not the best part but a good break from the rest.

- Next part is perfect with the triplets is perfect, long enough this time and really nice how you 'split up' the two guitars when the riff evolves. Would love to see you play it though...

- Not much to say about the next part, except that I don't think it's too dissonant like someone said earlier.

- The outro is a bit too long, maybe throw in some variation there.

Overall really good stuff, needs a bit of tweaking, but definitly one of my alltime favorites here. 9/10
I realy like the accoustic part in the intro, but i think that when the distorted guitar comes in, it should play something diffrent. Then it gets faster...and the headbanging starts When in bar 53 the second guitar comes in, maybe it should play a little harmony? Bar 65, and i'm banging my head again...it should be longer! Great song. As many said, its realy weird, but in a realy good way. 9/10, keep up the good work!
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Awesome post, dude.

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Progressive metal, yeah, it's a very tuff job. You've done great, really. This is not my favourite type of progressive (i love Symphony X and Dream Theater), but there's a spirit in this thing. The Acoustic Part are KILLER! I love that fast "duududu", "dadada", IT'S awesome.

Like the other guys, these bards "9,10", sounds weird, but ull fix it

Why don't u write in standart tunning, i find it easier (i think)?

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