C4C. This song i wrote whil i was sitting at school and i saw my friend all upset and **** i dont know why exactly but these words came to my head so i wrote them down please tell me what you think.C4C.

Life is a beautiful problem
With so many things to be shared
Life should be without problems
Left with nothing to be spared

So just wake up and smell the fumes
Wake up and see what its doing to you
Life if is war so pack your s*** and let’s fight
Waking up with that honesty
That isn’t really there
Just living another day in your life
That’s is your beautiful problem
i like it but you need 1 or 2 more verses
but it was good, the way i thought of it in my head
yeh i know i was just making sure people liked it before i finish writing the rest. thank you for your crit are there any you would like me to crit???
Pretty good, I like your use of words in the first verse.

Left with nothing to be sparred.

Sticks out to me for somereason.

Good job, cant wait for it to be finished.
Great friggin job man dude i love the first verse and i think you should try adding more to your piece....nice work my friend
Do something different with the Chorus. That Verse is good, but the Chorus needs some serious revising.

My guitar modification blog.
Quote by MuffinMan
Jesus was all like "To those about to rock, I salute you." then he grabbed his mighty axe and rocked the Romans out really hard. Of course they were strict classical music so....
I enjoyed reading this piece. What syle of music is it? anyways thanks for the crit to my song "Awakened"
Quote by cpt_pimp
my last fail was breaking up with my gf.

that's going to suck for a while

Quote by leg end
Well, not really haha!

I like the verse alot, only crit with the verse would be, using problem twice for a rhyme, im sure u can find another word.. The chorus is very good.. The first too lines are great, the only crit i hav is the third line.. I dont really think it flows as well, and it seems a bit out of place, but i can see it is important..

Overall, this is a gr8 start to a possibly gr8 song..
Keep expandin the idea and i think you'll have a gr8 piece...

Please crit mine
The times are changing
Thanks for critting mine.

There are some spelling and grammar problems. I didn't really like the second verse/chorus. The first was good though. I think you could definitely expand on your ideas a little more. Paint a picture with your words.
Can't say I was never wrong
But some blame rests on you

Work and play they're never okay
To mix the way we do