#1
You dug my feelings up,
they were only in a shallow grave.
You said you still felt strong for me,
tell me in the morning when I can see.

You woke the pain up,
and renewed my scars,
I’ve been thinking of playing with fire and blades,
or under the wheels of cars.

You told me in the morning that you were sorry,
for telling me what you should have kept to yourself,
and now I don’t know what to think,
but I don’t want to sit forever on your shelf.


If you tell me that you want me when you’re drunk,
there has to be something there, or has the ship sunk.
If you tell me that you want me when you’re drunk,
is there something in it, or has that ship sunk.

So now we’re back to where we were,
friends in speech marks forever.
So now we’re back to where we were,
friends in a living hell forever.
So now we’re back to where we were,
friends in speech marks forever.
So now we’re back to where we were,
friends in speech marks forever.
#2
For this piece, I felt very unattached at the beginning. I think that the first two stanzas are somewhat weak, but as it progresses, the following are very well written. I especially love the "shelf" line, though, I am not completely sure what you mean by that.

Cool stuff, dude.
#3
its kinda wonky( what i mean is i don't quite understand it, and sometimes the strcuture its strange and foriegn)
but i think if you spent some more time with it
it could sound quite nice
#4
I couldnt get into this at all, it just seems a bit hollow,

but I don’t want to sit forever on your shelf

is a good line but the rest doesnt flow very well, is a little to simplistic and doenst really work for me.

return crit
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=635395
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