#1
Alright, yesterday I started messing around with some piano things on GP, and found something cool. Added some drums and guitar and it made a sick intro. I then started adding riffs on top of riffs, thinking of making it in the usual verse chorus verse structure, then I realized it would be cooler as an instrumental, kept the riff repeats to a minimum, and voila, here it is

Let me know what you think, and, Crit for crit of course
Attachments:
Behind the Veil.zip
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#2
26 views and no comments eh? lol

Dude, I loved the piano, but you should keep it going for a while longer in the intro before bringing the guitars + the other instruments in. Also add in another keyboard playing some strings too, to give it a fuller more atmospheric sound. I always love layering on strings to accent something, it almost always makes a song better imo.

Riff A flows good from the intro, but like I said, take advanage of the piano and make the intro way longer. The riff sounds very in flamesy to me, which is a good thing cuz their one of my favs. Riff B was great also, but you should harmonize after 4 bars of it w/ just one guitar. Just like cut that riff in half maybe. Riff C was perfect though, I love those damn harmonized melodies

Riff D was good as well but it sounded kind of off in bars 50, 54, 58, and 62. It sounded kind of like the major scale (although, I know it isn't), and it was a little too happy for the song. Riff E sounds a lot like the pre-solo riff from December Flower (my fav in flames song ), but it led up to the solo nicely.

Now the solo started out pretty nicely until it got to bar 71. It was just a generic go up the scale fast type lick, which isn't bad, but I just think it's waaaaay overused. Just try to do maybe some more creative licks. Although, it gets better at bar 74, with the bends. I especially liked the licks in bars 77+78 though, especially with that little slide in the middle. But in bar 79 there's another one of those generic fast licks. The rest was good though except for the little bluesy note in bar 81, where the G and the D# are being played at the same time.

Riff E then A and C flowed nicely after the solo though. And I was glad to see that you ended the song with the piano. But my only problem w/ the outro is how you put in the other instruments after bar 104. Once the instruments cut out there, you should just have the piano by itself w/ some strings, and maybe a more complex melody w/ the piano, just my thoughts though.

Overall, it was a good song, but kind of just sounded like something that In Flames would write. I really wish you wrote more songs like you used to, like Animus, Dirgefall, Revolution, or Pyreflies especially. Those songs blew me away when I heard em, and they were all more original than your last few songs, although, you've never written a bad song I didn't like . Just try to do more original stuff like you used to man, I miss that stuff. As for this song I'd give it a 8/10. It's deffinitely capable of being much better though with enough work.
Last edited by zakatak9389 at Jul 27, 2007,
#3
Wonderful. Stupedous. Awesome. As usual, a damn near perfect NovemberRain273 composition. The piano fit perfectly, it all flowed well, and the solo, like always, was brilliant. Like zakatak said, some strings or other orchestral instrument would have added that extra bit of drama that could have really added to the song, but it works fine as it is. The riffs were excellent and very melodic. I would have liked to see something a bit heavier in here, but that's not everybodie's style. 9/10. Very well done. Crit my new one? My song. It has a bit of that melodic metal thing you're into.
#4
Wow thanks a lot guys!

onebetter, i'll try and crit yours asap, I can't now because I'm using my dad's laptop which doesn't have GP.
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#5
I think a lot of your riffs are starting to sound waayyyy to similar to lots of In Flames stuff, like Man Made God especially. I think while I love the style from around the Colony period, your songs are losing their originality and their flare. They just sound like stuff In Flames coulda put on an album, but didnt cause it sounded too similar to the rest of the stuff.

Good song all around though.
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It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#6
^ Aw man seriously? I thought with song I was finally getting out of sounding similar to in flames :/ Ahhh anyways, I'm working on a song now that I think is some of my older style mixed with something new...very opeth esque, as that's who influence my older songs like Pyreflies.
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#8
Haha thanks man. I've got about 3 minutes of material written so far, but I'm getting stuck...damn writer's block
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#10
Posting as I listen..

Love the intro, piano is very well written, and I love when the guitar comes in, unexpected.

Both Riff A and B, I like, but as some people have said already, sounds a bit too much like In Flames, now, that's not a bad thing, as you don't follow the same pattern, but I can tell theres a huge influence from them there.

Following those 2 riffs, everything seems pretty flawless...

alrighty.... the solo..

Fan****intastic solo haha... really is great, very well written. My only complaint: make it longer :P

And, love the piano outro... very nice end to a great song.


Again, only thing I"d change is a longer solo.


Other than that, very nice peice of music you've got here.
~~You are nothing. I am a God among men, creating the Universe before leaving you blinded and wandering.~~
Letters to Zaya
#11
Thanks a lot dude

And zak, spam away all you're doing is bumping my thread to the top

Anyways, I think I may have come over that bit of writer's block, I can really see this coming together, can't wait to post it
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#12
I loved everything but the intro. You can do that better! I don;t think those quarter notes sounds good in that piano-intro. But the rest really rocked dude!
#13
I liked it all, pretty cool song.
the piano intro is nice, but too short(in my opinion), i think u should make it longer.
the solo is awsome, and also riff c.
riff d is my favorite, but the others are also cool.

overall... 9/10.
crit my songs, (PLZ):
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#14
Everything has already been said, so I won't ramble. I just have to say that that was the best thing I've heard on here in a while. Fantastic!
Hey, I'm Mike.