#1
I'll try to crit 4 crit. Please tell me what you think. 'Link me to reality'

A dreamless eye
And the curse will find you
Turn back
As if nothing is meant to be

Become the lost original
This word is promised to me
A sacred voice I’ll never be

Defeated faith
Nothing is meant to be
Link me to reality
Only what you can see

I let dreams roam free
From the dark and back again
Wish I could merge the black and the white
Wish I could merge the day and the night

Defeated faith
Nothing is meant to be
Link me to reality
Only what you can see

There’s a wolf in the corner
Green eyed in the crimson light
What is magic?

Defeated faith
Nothing is meant to be
Link me to reality
Only what you can see

See beyond what is rational
As if nothing is meant to be
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#2
'Link me to reality' hey, neat title. Before i read the piece i definitely thought you meant 'link' as in hyperlink

A dreamless eye
And the curse will find you
Turn back
As if nothing is meant to be the amount of words left out is interesting, but I think it reduces the meaning because I read it and think 'what the hell is this even supposed to mean?' lol But nah, I wouldn't really change it; it's neat

Become the lost original sort of wondering what this is supposed to mean. There is so little originality in this world that you're saying it's lost? Irritatingly inaccurate. You don't think there's enough originality, then be the change you want to see in the world. There's tons of original people and concepts in the world. It's a pretty sounding line, but meaning > sound (in my opinion), unless maybe it's just a fun little song, which this isn't.
This word is promised to me what word?
A sacred voice I’ll never be kewl, the rhyme didn't even bother me, though it usually does

Defeated faith I'm starting to notice a trend of _extreme_ vagueness in this song. You pull out all these intangable concepts and then say things like 'nothing is meant to be' etc lol. It makes for some thought-provoking reading, but when I really look at it, it's like...the ideas are brought up and then sort of abandoned, if you know what i mean? This is hard for me to explain because I do like the lyrics the way they are; they're just so vague (to the point of apparent meaningless sometimes)
Nothing is meant to be
Link me to reality
Only what you can see alright, if you say 'reality' then it can't be a personal reality (as you've implied with the last line). Say "the reality" maybe? And only what the person can see isn't usually reality, more like their perception of reality. *shrugs*

I let dreams roam free
From the dark and back again
Wish I could merge the black and the white kudos to the parallel bits, but 'black/white and day/night are about as cliche as it gets, and they're a horrifically boring rhyme. Most rhymes seem really juvenile to me, and after talking it over with my creative writing teacher, I think it's because each line is an independent thought. Like, you go:
idea 1
idea 2
idea 3
idea 4
on each line, and they all end there (well the first/second ones here don't, but hey) You can do whatever you want here, but for all your talk of originality being lost, this is about as ironic as it gets

Wish I could merge the day and the night

Defeated faith
Nothing is meant to be
Link me to reality
Only what you can see

There’s a wolf in the corner where does this image come from!? totally out of the blue. It's just so different from the rest of the peace, and it doesn't mean anything. A random image of a cornered wolf (the idea of which doesn't fit either, being cornered? like, how does that fit? maybe it does and I'm just silly.)
Green eyed in the crimson light okay...and this means what? contributes what? and relates to your chorus how?
What is magic? well, this most certainly fits with how utterly random these three lines are lol. I love this verse(?) and would love to see you write a whole song in this voice, but that's another story.

Defeated faith
Nothing is meant to be
Link me to reality
Only what you can see

See beyond what is rational
As if nothing is meant to be maybe just say 'nothing is meant to be' here? Anyway, I do like this song; it's interesting and has some variation from every other song i read on here I tried to keep it all constructive, sorry if anything offends! If you need clarification on any points, just ask, and I'm really looking forward to your response to all my questions

Iain.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour