#1
This is a metal piece I'm writing.

Anesthesia

Put on this mask
It fits so well,
Protect me from,
So much Hell.

I Close my eyes,
And drift away,
Bright lights fade,
It feels like falling.

The consummate black,
The Deathly Numb,
It's Anesthesia,
And I'm all alone.

Light returns
Open my eyes
My vision burns
My body's slow
My mind is foggy
It's Anesthesia,
And I'm all alone.

The strangest part,
It's so comfortable,
Being under, I like it,
It's Anesthesia,
And I'm all alone.

(Anesthesia),
(I'm all alone).

[That last bit there is an all out scream.]
Last edited by MangledPhox at Jul 31, 2007,
#2
I think you should make the third set of lines the chorus.

The strangest part,
It's so comfortable,
Being under, I like it,


The first two lines here are good, but the last one needs some retooling. Maybe, "Being under gets me high"?