#1
Yes, this is another script and I wrote the opening scene.....nothing really happens yet but I just wanted you guys to read it and tell me how it is thus far.

The scene fades in on the north side Boston apartment. Simon is seen inside the apartment flipping through a Time Magazine, with his right leg crossed over his left leg, and while whistling to himself quietly. Without any hesitation, a door opens slightly, and a loud creaking noise could be heard as a result of this action. Simon turns his head in order to witness who is entering the apartment. A smallish head peaks in and April can be seen smiling while peeking over the door.

Simon- (While nodding his head) Well isn’t this a surprise, did Rickshaw give you the key again?

April- No……the door was open (Points to the door.)

Simon- Huh…..

April- You shouldn’t leave it open like that, we live in Boston man, anyone can just come up from behind ya…with an long axe in their hand….and just decapitate you right on the spot.

Simon- I’m sure you can think of a better weapon than an axe…(Flips page with force.)

April- I know someone who did this….trust me, the result wasn’t pretty….an axe is one of the most fatal weapons of them all.

Simon- I heard you coming in anyways, from that damn creaking noise.

April- Regardless….you think they care if you see them…they are armed, you aren’t. You really need a security system in here. (Looks at ceiling.) Brinks….Brinks does wonders.

Simon puts the book on the glass coffee table in front of him and gets up slowly.

Simon- Listen, besides criticizing my sanctuary, what did you come for?

April- Oh, I just need some more printing paper.( Walks over towards computer desk and grabs a set.) I got a big talk show tomorrow and Morgan told me this helpful tip. I should type all my notes on paper….so I can have an outline as to what I might talk about.

Simon- Wait….you never did this before?

April- I always went free form.

Simon- Did 6 years at Notre Dame teach you nothing woman?

(Al walks into the apartment.)

April- Simon I went to Suffolk, I told you that a million times now.

Simon- Whatever all those schools are the same to me, Bentley to Berkeley, Umass to Massasoit, there all the same to me……I don’t even know why you need it….I never went to college and look were I am now. (Sits back in his chair.)

April- Well you ain’t exactly rolling in diamonds either.

Simon- Well neither are you.

April- Atleast I afford to pay my rent every once in a while, without asking other people for a “dollar” or “two”. Seriously you need a job, I mean first it’s the door, and then it could be your fridge, the washing machine, the bed, the dryer….. Anyways I gotta get goin’. Simon don’t forget that double date we have tomorrow.

Simon- That’s so….High School, double dates…look at us late 20 year olds. Some are already married, and were still in stage one of the process.

April- I’m telling you Simon you’re gonna adore this chick!

April attempts to exit the room, but Al runs right in front of the door and stops her.

Al- Wait…..you were right about me becoming ambitious in finding a job and that got me thinking.

April looks at Al surprisingly at the random statement

April- I never give you advise on anything....so were is this coming from?

Al smiles

Al- Well….you never really said that but I just wanted to start a conversation about it.

April- Ah…..Well yea….its about damn time….give me more info.

Al- I was wondering if I could assist you in the radio department.

Aprils smile steadily turns into a confused frown.

Simon- (Whispering to himself) Well this should be really interesting….

April- Well…..I don’t know….I mean I have a safe and secure situation with Morgan, I don’t think I can add another assistant.

Al- Comon, what is so bad about two assistants instead of one? It will make your job easier than it already is.

April- Yea…but conflicts might arise and frankly….I see you enough during the day as it is….adding an extra 5 hours, I think Id kill myself.

Al- Comon…

April- I’m sorry Al but I have to decline your offer.

Al- Alright you won’t have to pay a dime.

April- That doesn’t make any sense, then It wouldn’t be a job….

Al- Exactly, but it would look good on my resume. So if I want to start my own radio show I can always cite you as a starting point.

April- I don’t know….Simon?

Simon- Oh don’t get me involved in this, I’m just a spectator in this convo.

Al puts on a sad face and looks up at April with her eyes blinking.

April- I’m sorry Al I don’t wanna ruin our friendship….this would be like me sleeping in your apartment, it’s a catalyst for disaster.

Al- Well (Thinking about the situation) I wouldn’t say a disaster but…..

April- No Al, its not going to happen….unless (looks at printing paper.) you type the notes for tomorrow’s program.

Al- Isn’t that going a step too far in my case.

April- I’ll tell you what to write….but since you’re more computer literate than I am….it would be easier for you to type it out….

Al- You went to Notre Dame for 6 years and you’re computer literate.

April- It was Suffolk you morons. Anyways (looks at watch) thankyou for holding my time, Ill expect those papers by tomorrow morning, 7 on the dot. Ill call you later on to tell you what to write.

April leaves

Al- Finally….a reputable job.

Simon looks up at Al.

Simon- Your not getting paid for this right?

Al- No…

Simon- And there is no way a radio talk show is in your foreseeable future.

Al- Guess not.

Simon- Consider yourself screwed.
#2
You kid yourself if you think the attention span of UG will go past the first paragra...

Dood I'm hungry


EDIT: Josh's critique: "criticizing my sanctuary" coming from somebody who uses weird phrases and vocabulary........Who talks like that?

Is this supposed to be a sitcom of some sort?

Seems like an unfunny Seinfeld.
Last edited by Joshrocker48 at Jul 31, 2007,
#3
Quote by Joshrocker48
You kid yourself if you think the attention span of UG will go past the first paragra...

Dood I'm hungry



Amen! This man speaks the truth.
--"Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride."--
#5
Quote by Joshrocker48
You kid yourself if you think the attention span of UG will go past the first paragra...

Dood I'm hungry


EDIT: Josh's critique: "criticizing my sanctuary" coming from somebody who uses weird phrases and vocabulary........Who talks like that?

Is this supposed to be a sitcom of some sort?

Seems like an unfunny Seinfeld.


well its just the opening hopefully I can build it up....(I admit that sanctuary line aint the best.)
#7
You kid yourself if you think the attention span of UG will go past the first paragra...

[\QUOTE]

funny cuz i only read the first paragraph before i wa bored
hahaha
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#8
A lot of the dialogue is a little awkward. Where exactly do you plan to go with this? I'm having trouble evaluating it without any context.
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