#1
Today I told the world,
What was on my mind,
But they did not listen,
Because they didn’t have the time,
Dying on my own,
Hiding in my hole,
Suicidal tragic humour,
Only funny when I’m alone,

Oh Mr bewildered,
A bat living in the night,
Not to be afraid to be searching for the light,
Oh Mr bewildered,
To vote or to pray,
Neither changes outcome, outcome of the day,
Oh Mr bewildered,
Watched cuts never bleed,
Well you stare at me, eternally,
Your wisdom it misleads,
Your wisdom it misleads,

Today I told the world,
What was on my mind,
But they did not listen,
Because they didn’t have the time,
Dying on my own,
Hiding in my hole,
Suicidal tragic humour,
Only funny when I’m alone.

*Fade out to Laughing, getting more Manic*
And Like That. He was Gone.

My Lyrics

Love
#2
The verses aren't bad, certainly good enough to be carried by a decent melody, but nothing jumps out at me. That middle section, however, has some absolutely great lines it, reminding me of some of the late 60s/ early 70s abstract rock masters. I'm especially fond of "Watched cuts never bleed". What's the music like?

If you'd like to crit one of mine, there's a link in my sig.
Death to Ovation haters!
#3
well its going to be grunge essentially - generally mucky chordings. Im still pratting about with the rhythm though.
And Like That. He was Gone.

My Lyrics

Love
#4
well i like the concept and atmosphere behind it and the writing is pretty good, i agree though the middle part is better, anyway i'm not sure i can find anything majorlly wrong with it so i think your goo, maybe work on the verses, maybe crit mine? Spiders Crawling Through My Eyes - in sig