#1
Are you goin to the dance,
Or are you goin with that guy lance,
Cause I want you to go with me,
Even though i wont be dancing,
So girl you gotta let me know,
Do you wanna go with me,
Yes or no,
If its no,
Ill understand completely,
I just wanna go with you,
And go out with you,

Im goin to the school dance,
Do you wanna go with me,
To the dance,
Just tell me (repeat)

Maybe the dance will be fun,
But are you goin with me,
Cause i want you to dance with me,
So please will you go with me,
To the school dance,
Well be there together,
But do you want to be together,
Cause i do,
But what about you,
Do you wanna be with me

chorus 2x

The school dance HEY!(4x)
Will you go with me,
To the school dance.
#2
that sounded all ok but there is still something missing like a spark or something
鋼の錬金術師
#4
um...well not to be rude but it's not good at all. it's very very repetitive you're saying like the same thing over and over again. and in the first stanza you say you won't be dancing, but later on you say you want to dance with her. that's pretty much contradicting itself. another thing, it didn't have a very good flow. one thing that will help with that is if you make all of the stanza's closer to the same length. keep trying. could you crit one of my songs in my sig? thanks.
#5
thats bullcrap (sorry to say) make a statement damnit "If its no,
Ill understand completely" come on you wanna go with this girl