#1
I know there's always been one question on all of your minds and that's how to have sex with dolphins well all the answers are here: http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html

I'm sure you'll go out to test this guide as soon as possible, I mean who wouldn't want to.
Founder of Jaco society

[22:08:23] <Confusius> I wish I was a bassist
[22:08:26] <Confusius> you fuckers look cool


Want to know how to play bass in jazz? Read this.
#2
dude WTF? First off, how did you find that, and as far as im concerned:

zoophilia = beastiality
Not Enough AssHatery
#5
"Ah, it's a beautiful day. Time to go see how the hell you have sex with dolphins and then post it on UG for other people seeking enlightment such as I."

Is that what you thought?
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#6
Quote by Demon Wolf
"Ah, it's a beautiful day. Time to go see how the hell you have sex with dolphins and then post it on UG for other people seeking enlightment such as I."

Is that what you thought?


Pretty much right there in words
Founder of Jaco society

[22:08:23] <Confusius> I wish I was a bassist
[22:08:26] <Confusius> you fuckers look cool


Want to know how to play bass in jazz? Read this.
#7
I'm getting lucky Tonight
Quote by soulflyV
Prepare to have every orifice in your body occupied by a dwarf.
#8
But its not that easy, dolphins dont just spread their fins for every man that comes near them. They expect fine fish and lots and lots of money.
#9
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length






We're slowly turning into 4chan
#10
Quote by blackflag49
Like anybody here even has access to dolphins..

And why would you want to know that O.O
#18
Flipper is gonna be so pissed.
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#19
It's actually something more like this:

1.) Buy dinner for the dolphin. (Tuna Sandwiches should work fine)
2.) Tell the dolphin she's pretty, and that you can't keep your eyes off of her. Lots of compliments WILL help you here.
3.) MAKE SURE to take her dancing afterwards. This, as female dolphins love showing off, is key. Find a nice pool, and some hoola hoops. They should work well.
4.) After dancing, suggest taking the dolphin back to your place. She'll most likely be so happy with how the evening is going that she'll acquiesce.
5.) Offer drinks. Get her drunk as best you can. (Alternately, benzodiazepines work, as well)
6.) Suggest going "upstairs." If she accepts, chug away, you're golden. Just remember, the fin is a delicate area.

Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
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Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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FUCK ROCKS!
Last edited by Gunpowder at Aug 7, 2007,
#20
"A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship."

Yes. Yes it would...
Quote by Paul Lambeth
It's like having the best orgasm of your life ever, but in your brain, and the opposite of that.
#21
Quote by mattyp90
"A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship."

Yes. Yes it would...

imagine someone being found dead having sex with a dolphin.......

Jack my swag
#22
Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.


That sounds kind of cool and sickening at the same time..
#25
WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.


Playing guitar is NOT a sport.

Let the RABBITS wear GLASSES
]
#26
I hope no one even starts considering hammer sharks. No... just no.
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#27
I really really didn't need to read any of that.
Nasty!!!!
I hope it doesn't seem, like I'm young, foolish, and green.
Let me in for a minute, you're not my life but I want you in it


O Dayya, te echaré de menos, siempre

Y siempre
Y para siempre
#29
Quote by Salvial
WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.


Pfft, Gauge could take that on, no problem.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#30
Quote by raise_the_dead
Pfft, Gauge could take that on, no problem.



Yeah but I'm pretty sure she's part dolphin herself.
#31
Quote by DanRev
Yeah but I'm pretty sure she's part dolphin herself.


So that's why there are all these rumours of an X-rated version of Flipper featuring her...
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#34
"WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death."

There goes my plans for Friday night.
#37
Quote by DanRev
Pfft.. You should see the Free Willy one.


Even as a kid I thought that was a very suspect name
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#38
I got a boner reading that...
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