#1
Verse 1
Well I guess that we were doing our best
and then we fell like the rest
"...And I was shocked," said a close friend.
Picking up a little piece of the pie
to toss it up in the sky
and make a bet for when it throws down.

Chorus
Doctor I've been feeling like I'm starting to fall apart
I sit for hours in the driveway and pretend I'm a star.
I hold a PhD in agony and things that go
Bump in the night, in the night...

Verse 2
Half a chorus and I've a mistake
and my heart's not awake
And if you find out, then you'll kill me.
Sometimes it feels right to borrow a line
when it's a beat at a time
the girls aren't happy 'til they're dancin'...

Bridge
The exisentialist approach won't work today
The shadows on the wall are arguing Infinity
A little cushion on the Kesey-couch of infamy
Let's go, Horatio, go find someone to rescue me, 'cuz,

Chorus
Doctor I've been feeling like I'm starting to fall apart
I sit for hours in the driveway and pretend I'm a star.
I hold a PhD in agony and things that go
Bump in the night, in the night...

I don't know if this is allowed within the S&L rules but, if you want to hear what it sounds like and crit based off that, it's at PunkFish's MySpace page. I'd really dig it if you did. It's the last song, scroll down if it doesn't start auto.

Needless to say, crit4crit is now in session.
Cheers!
- PunkFish.
Last edited by PunkFish182 at Aug 8, 2007,
#2
Dude I liked the lyrics and the song but I've got a little constructive critism you've got a good voice but just try not to be to muck like every other pop punk band out there what I mean by that is don't whine so much but other than that it's good. crit mine Something to belive it's somewhere in the forum. Peace out
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#3
I like the lyrics, which is saying a lot because I usually don't like pop-punk lyrics. I usually find them trite and boring, but these have a little more depth to them. I do find though that your singing is good for the genre, but unoriginal. I can tell you're a better singer than that, and I think it might suit you better to not go for the trebly, nasally sounding voice. Just my opinion, though.
#4
I like the alliteration with PhD and agony, and the song is generally good.

Peace.
-Ax
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#5
Sorry, i dont like back to back rhymes in any music, but the way it is on the Myspace thing, it sounds pretty darn good!
#6
I had a sinus headache that day but it was the only time I could get studio time. Hopefully the other songs on there sound a bit more natural as I agree i'm too nasally.

Also, hope this doesn't constitute a bump. If it does, don't comment anymore.