#1
hey guys i would appreciate if you could crit this i actually just sat and wrote this non stop as im sure you can tell. Its no where near good but if you wanted to give me some advice on what would make it better that would be great.


if i have another drink.
you dont have feelings.
if i pour another glass.
ill have an excuse to fool around
with a belly of luiqer
your nothing but flesh ,bones and holes.

what has made me this way ?

please girl .
drink some more gin.
and pray
that it forgives my sins.
girls are nothing but breasts and holes
Last edited by Markieg3 at Aug 9, 2007,
#2
umm its certainly original. I'm not sure if i like it, what kind of music is it to?
And Like That. He was Gone.

My Lyrics

Love
#4
umm to be honest the misogyny of it put me off, but the writing wasn't terrible i guess