well i ended it with me girlfriend last week , she then sent me a really nice hate letter.. so im kind of making it into a song for her..^^

iv just used what she said to me


with you it was a bad mistake,
but nothing i cant take.
get over yourself,
get a life your own age.

craw under a rock a just die


you didnt do anything wrong ,

i should have just said no.

I just liked you as mates,
so we didnt have to date.
its a slow song

all i can think of so far, maybe i should go piss her off so she can write me a new one

sorry if its bad but its my first ever song , so if anyone could lend me some tips or advice i would forever love you ^^
Read the rules (should title the thread whatever the piece is called).

I like it though it's got a good personal touch to it. Extend it alot more I'd say though, and try to change up the language.

Maybe keep to a more constant rhyming scheme as well?

Crit myn (Click Shadow Show in my sig) if you can?