#1
you have left my life
it seems youve made a choice
to leave me here in greif
and sing myself to sleep
wont you come back

i know that youve left
i know that your gone
but here i lay alone
waiting for your voice
please, wont you come back

ive called you before
sought free of all sorrow
cant live without ur face
lonely in this place
why wont you come back

i know that youve left
i know that your gone
but here i lay alone
waiting for your voice
please, wont you come back

please come back
the only one i love
is you and only you
your heart is always there
to guide me back to you
i need your love back
#2
love and loss is a very beaten to death sorta subject for writings, i feel that you should just make a new way to bring this idea into an exciting new light, or do it traditionally but not using cliches and using each part to its full potential.

This seemed traditional to me. There was some cliche but also some other ideas involved. I feel the cliches overpowered them though. I felt that only the third part is the only one that should stay untouched. The rest need to be re-worked in a different mindset. let me give you an example.

you have left my life - you have banished me to the flames of hades
it seems youve made a choice - you've carved it deep into my heart
to leave me here in greif - to leave me wallowing in the waters of eternal pain
and sing myself to sleep - to sing hymns of despair to deliver sleep
wont you come back - won't you ressurect me from this hell?

nice effort though, kee it up - maybe crit mine? Upon The Hills I Lay - In Sig
#3
The topic's cliche, and most of your stanza's say the same thing, just in different ways, it's to repetitive....I think you if changed it up a little more, and wrote it a little more creativly, it would be an alright song. Keep on writing though, every song can't get great. Crit mine please, it's called "A Last Goodbye". It's not in my sig so you'll have to find it, shouldn't be that hard, should be on the first page.
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