#1
Hey please crit honestly dont lie and say its good if you think its bad say it.
i think personally the first verse and chorus are good but then it goes downhill.

Verse 1

Your on your own for a few nights,
Out in the wide open,
Out here anything Can happen.
with any twig that snaps it breaks the silence,
And birngs adrenaline pulsing through you,
To many thoughts rushing through my mind.
Is this the night of the living Dead?

Chorus

Lost Alone over Here,
But its not to far from home,
You can go back soon,
To repair all the broken stitches,
But until then your alone,

Verse 2

The Only Company is Your Thoughts
and the tension keeps on rising,
Every shadow which Passes your way,
The Heart skips a beat,
Are The dead once alive Again,
Or is it all in my Head,

Bridge

Sweat Drips off your Forehead,
Even on a winter's Midnight,
You cant escape this time,
The Lurking From Beneath,

Chorus

Lost Alone over Here,
But its not to far from home,
You can go back soon,
To repair all the broken stitches,
But until then your alone,


And thats all i have so Far.
#2

Your on your own for a few nights,
Out in the wide open,
Out here anything Can happen.
with any twig that snaps it breaks the silence,
And birngs adrenaline pulsing through you,
To many thoughts rushing through my mind.
Is this the night of the living Dead?


Brings*? Great imagery I think, could use a bit of work with the flow though? The rhyming scheme doesn't really impress me but it may be fine sung. Not sure.


Lost Alone over Here,
But its not to far from home,
You can go back soon,
To repair all the broken stitches,
But until then your alone,


I like this alot more. Again good imagery, good word choice, and a much better flow.

The Only Company is Your Thoughts
and the tension keeps on rising,
Every shadow which Passes your way,
The Heart skips a beat,
Are The dead once alive Again,
Or is it all in my Head,


Didn't really like the last line, bit cliche.. but it's up to you. I really liked the rest of it, again the flow and word choice was good.


Sweat Drips off your Forehead,
Even on a winter's Midnight,
You cant escape this time,
The Lurking From Beneath,


Couldn't suggest any improvements there, solid writing.


Overall I think it's pretty good. There were definitly issues with the flow and rhyme scheme, but if the music sorts that out then I think this is a really good piece. Great imagery and word choice throughout.

Good work man.

Crit "Do You Agree?" in my sig?