#1
Darling what are you waiting for
On the boardwalk where daddy left
On a train?
For him to come back and say:
“Darlin’ how’d you get to be so old?
Even in the winter cold
With your hair wet,
Most flowers don’t grow that way.”

But baby the train stopped coming here,
It must have been thirteen years ago
On a misty morning when your
Daddy had to go.
I’ve watched all kinds of flowers grow,
The lilies and the daffodils stoke
For winter,
Not dancing on empty boardwalks, no.

So darlin’ what are you waiting for?
With one foot stuck in the door
And your hair
Frozen to your shoulder.
Darlin’ you missed your airplane flight
To go home to the sunrise light
And the winters
Are only getting colder.

I’m in a hurricane
On the other side of the street
Blowing me to sugar canes
And constant summer heat
But I’m holding on for you
Hoping that you’ll take my hand and go.
If I have to leave without you
I’ll try to make this hurricane go slow
So you can catch up.
Last edited by jamminbass at Nov 1, 2007,
#2
This is a fantastic piece of writing! I hate to give false sounding crits, it bugs me when i read a piece of writing that has only received good crits to get good return crits so im not leaving a link! This really is beautiful, fantastic imagery and good consistent flow, a solid piece of writing.
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#3
er there should be a you in the first line. the rest i comprende, girl leaves home cuz her dads dumb and she leaves comes back and bla la bla


You can never fucking trust Canada when Canada decides to report on world news that doesn't concern Canada. Canada is only in it for Canada's sake. Canada doesn't even know Batman.

Fuck Canada