#1
right i've read the rules, actually, here they are:

"1. no intentionally hurtful flaming. you can joke around, but
2. no posting nudity and other unsavory things. if you don't think it'd be allowed, it probably wouldn't.
3. don't be annoying: advertising, spamming, whining... nobody will like you, in fact i can see into the future and already dislike you.

i think that's it -- just be courteous. start posting!"

and here is my re-posted post


its late, heres the lyrics, theyre unfinished as yet, its basically about a relationship going down the ****ter, c4c whatever, i just want feedback so i can stop wasting my time if its a pile.


sometimes i feel like i'm losing grip
sometimes i feel like i'm letting it slip
everyday is like living a lie
with you rightby my side


(chorus)
you dont know it but tomorrow its over
you dont think it but its for the best
please dont feel you have to say you're sorry
after all, a change is as good a rest.

nothings changed, at night is till cant sleep
but for all the wrong reasons i just feel like i keep
going roung in circles, thinking it through
i hate to say it but im not quite sure i love you

(chorus)

(middle bit)
desperations at its peak
cant get the refuge that i seek
maybe ill just see it through
pretend that i'm not sick of you

(chorus)


thats it so far, come on then s+l, falme away


right, can i carry on now, mods?
Get off this damn forum and play your damn guitar.
#2
Pretty sure it's about the title but here are my thoughts...

Hey mate, these are good lyrics, don't put yourself down. They're obviously pretty bitter but these kind of lyrics are ones the reader/listener can really relate to, because people feel like this fairly frequently. It's good that they sound honest too, rather than cliche lines.

I particularly like the middle verse where the lines overlap if you get that. When you read it it becomes a long sentence, like someone trying to explain something, and that's what you're trying to do so it really works (not sure if that makes sense, but basically I liked it).

Also, they don't seem to need a lot of work, there's enough there to make a song if you're intending to.
Nice, 8*
Quote by Paul Lambeth
It's like having the best orgasm of your life ever, but in your brain, and the opposite of that.
#5
You were asked quite clearly.

You're from 2005, you should know each forum has their own rules...

Try looking atop this forum instead.

Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.