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#1
Yesterday someone posted the obscure fact that 3 people die every year by testing a 9 volt battery on their tongue. How can this be, you ask? Well in my infinite wisdom I quickly deduced that this is a result of them trying to divide by zero...literally. Allow me to elaborate:

Figure 1-a


Grandmasta Ohm Promotes His Hit Single, Ohm's Law

Figure 1-b


Abstract Album Art


As you can tell from the images above, Ohm's Law dictates that (V=IR) meaning that Voltage is equal to Current multiplied by Resistance. Manipulating this equation algebraically, we can derive that (I=V/R) or that Current is equal to Voltage divided by Resistance. This shows that Current and Resistance are indirectly proportional such that as Resistance approaches infinity, Current will approach zero. Inversely, if Resistance is zero, Current will be infinitely large. Let us now apply this to our original dilemma with the battery:

Figure 2-a


So, there you have it UG. Further proof that dividing by zero will seriously wreck your shit.
#3
This guy has divided one too many things by zero.... lol
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#5
Word, bro. Don't be dissin' 'lectricity.
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#6
Quote by Superpartydude5
Just cause it's directly on your tongue doesnt mean theres no resistance...

Obviously since we've likely all done this. However, it would seem that some people have very low resistance in their tongues.
#8
a human wil ALLWAYS have some Ohms inside... so.. phailed
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#9
maybe their tongues are too wet

what is the resistance of saliva?
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#10
i do it all the time in technology, our teacher tells us to, its a way of tested them!
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#11
clean water/saliva wont lead electricity hat good anyways, but it will help.. the more dirty the water is, the more electricity it leads
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#13
Quote by magvol
clean water/saliva wont lead electricity hat good anyways, but it will help.. the more dirty the water is, the more electricity it leads


so it must be the people who don't brush their teeth who get fried
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#14
Quote by phatsack
so it must be the people who don't brush their teeth who get fried


well, yeah:p

or maybe it was small kids who eats dirty :O
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#16
Quote by Metal claw
You should have used the template for the first picture!!!



I never knew that existed


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#17
The human body does not have a resistance of zero. Hook an ohm meter up to your tongue I guarantee you that it will not read zero.
#18
Quote by phatsack
so it must be the people who don't brush their teeth who get fried

I don't know that this would make too big a difference. The current would still have to flow into the skin at one point. I'd think having low resistance merely on the surface of the tongue would actually be better for you because of Kirchhoff's Current Law, and the fact that current always takes the path of least resistance.


Quote by Scooch
The human body does not have a resistance of zero. Hook an ohm meter up to your tongue I guarantee you that it will not read zero.

Thank you captain obvious.
Last edited by denizenz at Aug 24, 2007,
#19
I believe this thread was an attempted joke that has now sadly failed rather epicly...

it had such potential too


this thread is proof that dividing by zero is no laughing matter
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#20
Quote by cammo_1234
it had such potential too



Okay, even if this thread failed, that's a pretty awesomely bad pun. Serious win.
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#21
I dont believe that a 9 volt battery could kill someone.


The truth hurts, but denial is what kills you.



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#22
lol i'm happy someone picked it up
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#24
People probably die because of some alkaline acid leaked from the battery.
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#25
Apart from the resistance of the human body, let me also lay down some physics on your ass.

EVERYTHING has resistance, 0 resistance does not exist, even a battery has a resistance, called 'Internal Resistance' its uses a little energy for electrons to even travel through the battery

As far as dying is concerned, it is the Ampage not the voltage that will kill you e.g. a 12V car battery can kill you.


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#27
Quote by Absent Mind
Apart from the resistance of the human body, let me also lay down some physics on your ass.

EVERYTHING has resistance, 0 resistance does not exist, even a battery has a resistance, called 'Internal Resistance' its uses a little energy for electrons to even travel through the battery

The only thing I miscalculated before making this thread was the Pit's resistance to satire...
#28
Quote by denizenz
The only thing I miscalculated before making this thread was the Pit's resistance to satire...



I can't help it, I'm an electrical engineer. Glaringly obvious breaches of physics drive me crazy.


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#29
Quote by gen0doom
Alkaline acid????


A lot of batteries are made with alkaline acid. It's combined with some other chemicals and produces a chemical reaction which releases electricity.
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#30
Quote by urik
A lot of batteries are made with alkaline acid. It's combined with some other chemicals and produces a chemical reaction which releases electricity.



Don't believe any of this "acid" nonsense. Batteries work using mostly little elves and magic.
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#31
Am I missing something, or aren't acids and alkalis complete opposites, so they would neutralise each other? Or is the electricity produced in the neutralisation reaction?

Damn AS level chemistry for not teaching this stuff.
#32
Quote by weirdjohn87
I can't help it, I'm an electrical engineer. Glaringly obvious breaches of physics drive me crazy.


I still like you

I was going for computer engineering so I know all about impedance and internal resistances
#33
Quote by weirdjohn87
Don't believe any of this "acid" nonsense. Batteries work using mostly little elves and magic.


You caught me on the lie
Though I thought that it was some little men inside the battery spinning an electromagnet :/
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#35
Quote by denizenz
I was going for computer engineering so I know all about impedance and internal resistances



And the physics in your joke didn't bother you???


hmph. Must be a CE thing.
Wait, I've got one:

I think one of the main causes for the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
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#36
Quote by denizenz
The only thing I miscalculated before making this thread was the Pit's resistance to satire...



denizenz, it's okay... many have made this mistake before you... any form of mildly intelligent humour is ruthlessly shot down and left to rot in this pit....

do not waste your superior brain power on these fools... leave them here to play with their penises and 4chan memes...

the average pit dweller is a simple being, and sadly i believe this environment is the wrong place for your "smart humour" as it is not fully appreciated...

But let it be known that i feel your pain
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#37
Quote by weirdjohn87
And the physics in your joke didn't bother you???


hmph. Must be a CE thing.
Wait, I've got one:

I think one of the main causes for the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Not really because it was a satirical attempt (a bad one apparently) at humor, and a long way to go for a divide by zero joke. I guess it seemed funnier at 1:00am whilst I was trying to fall back asleep.

Quote by cammo_1234
denizenz, it's okay... many have made this mistake before you... any form of mildly intelligent humour is ruthlessly shot down and left to rot in this pit....

do not waste your superior brain power on these fools... leave them here to play with their penises and 4chan memes...

the average pit dweller is a simple being, and sadly i believe this environment is the wrong place for your "smart humour" as it is not fully appreciated...

But let it be known that i feel your pain

Heh,
#38
do not waste your superior brain power on these fools... leave them here to play with their penises and 4chan memes...
The thing is, its our being intelligent and having studied physics that allows us to rip this 'joke' to peices, if we we're stupid it wouldn't have been possible now would it. So you fail

Plus I find the wake of the joke and the subsequent trashing of it much funnier than the joke itself :P


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#39
lol... dude the human body has an avg resistance around 60000 ohms... not 0..

'tard
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#40
Quote by Bronek
lol... dude the human body has an avg resistance around 60000 ohms... not 0..

'tard

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