#1
OTS. C4C.

The 8th Floor
I hate the taste of it.
The classic clash of spit and blood.
With a concrete kiss, offering a $10 fuck.
While I'm drifting idly through the streetlamp flood.
"So sorry, so selfish,
Should've picked a taller building.
It's my fault, as always."
#2
Reminds me of the scene in Magnolia where William H. Macy falls down from the building at his mouth gets all bloody. I can't stand looking at that. So the first bit definitely made me react.

$10 fuck threw me off. Which I suppose is good. You don't want everything to be too obvious. It created a good sense of mystery.

I think it should have been "I should've picked a taller building" just because all the other verbs had "I." "I hate," "I'm drifting," but "Should've" just seemed a little left out.

Everything else was good though. Short, but solid.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=657938
#3
The last line I feel just has to be changed because it's so whiny and corny and everything about it is just dull.

The rest is good, and it's good to see you around again.
#4
I really loved that, great use of words and I dont mind that last line aslong as it is exactly what you want to say. If not change it, but I get the feeling it was very deliberate. Rhyming was also excellent, imagery was fantastic. I just loved the piece in general.

choices in sig if you would be so kind
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.