#1
This is my first time posting to be nice :P lol comments and crits welcome


slipping like sand, through the cracks of time
My mind is yours, to toil inside of.
You can have me.
Im all warm, and this feels so right
And the time we spend together always seems so short
and the time apart, always soo long.
t o o - l o n g.
by your side ill always be.
ill be there when you bleed, and ill be there when you cry
youll never have to call, or even ask why.
the reason is simple, and these feelings are simply amazing.
so simple.
so complex.
beautiful confusion,
wonderful disaster.
Ddevil
Last edited by Ddevil_420 at Mar 11, 2008,
#3
i dont know what the face means haha but thanks for the reply, n e ideas for improvement?
Ddevil
#4
Hey, I thought that this was a well written piece maybe change in the 5th line from the bottom "these feelings are simply amazing" to "these feelings are amazing" its not a huge change and you could probably think of something much better, but yeah for your first go that was very well done again good job and if you feel like critting my stuff its in the sig