Something short and to the point.. just found it.. can't remember when i wrote it.. i know who its about though =/ c4c

Paradise, I'm not quite there yet
Paralyzed, in your presence
Waste of time, chasing after you
Because all you do is play this fool.
And I'm alive, Just so you can kill me
Can not find, what we used to be
It's been a while, since you returned
The love, once lost, and never earned
Not bad. You have a good concept and you write on it pretty well. The only major problem I see is that the flow is a bit awkward. Play around with the words and try to get it smoother. Overall, though, nice job.
"Notes are expensive. . .use them wisely"-B.B. King

"It's been very important throughout my career that I've met all the guys I've copied, because at each stage they've said, 'Don't play like me, play like you."-Eric Clapton