#1
This song, I have to say, I'm not too proud of. I'm definatley not in love with it. Especially the solos. I am bad at writing solos normally, but, for whatever reason, I am worse at writing in a minor key without getting that arabian/egyptian feel. So, don't expect much from this song.

Also the drums seem kind of off to me in the bridge, but I'm not sure what else do do, so any suggestions would be highly appreciated.
Attachments:
Keep Your Eyes Closed.zip
#2
the riffs were solid, only problem in the verse is with the picked riff over the main riff, when it goes 633336333 and so on it sounds really off, i would maybe try 5 2? the chorus riff is sweet, it has a great rhythm to it. and the bridge is just awesome.

i love songs with badass rhythms going on. the solo was cool, but i dont know whether i would call it a solo, but it fitted well with the rest of the song.

i can only imagine it would sound even heavier on really instruments. especially teh mosh section

ive just written a death metal song myself if you dont mind having a look.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=660244

#3
Quote by ch715dallat
the riffs were solid, only problem in the verse is with the picked riff over the main riff, when it goes 633336333 and so on it sounds really off, i would maybe try 5 2?


I disagree, It sounds dissonant, but this builds up tension for the chorus. Don't change that. The first part of the solo is a bit -meh-, second part is better. I would maybe put the solo more to the back, the song peeks a bit to soon, making the last chorus kinda obsolete. The chorus riff is awesome though, verse also very solid.

Overall this song really got me banging my head, really good work 9/10
#4
Thanks for all your comments. I also just wanted to say, I tried that 5-2 thing ch715dallat suggested, and I'm sorry, but it sounds like crap. I think the 2 is in the wrong key, and it just does not sound good, sounds worse that what I have. I may play around with it later though and try to do something else, maybe I'll go up instead of down or something, not sure. But, yeah, I'll play around with it, see what I can come up with. Thanks for all your comments, rock on.
#5
This is pretty good, dude. There's nothing really too special about it, but it's a really good, solid song. That part at 27 doesn't really sound that bad. It's a little weird, but I think it works. one thing: I don't know if I like the note choice on the post chorus. I changed it to a D instead of D#, and to me that sounds a little better, but that's just me. Also, I didn't like the solo. It just didn't work for me, the first part especially. The second part was alright, nothing great, but yeah, the first section definitely needs some work.

Other than that, great song. I really liked how you slowed it down at the end for the mosher section. That was really tight. Yeah, good job, man.
#6
Thanks dude. One thing about what you said confused me. You said change the D# to a D, what the guitar is doing there, currently, is D-Fb-D-Fb-D-Fb. Did you want it to just keep hammering the D or what? I know guitar pro says D#, but thats only because I didn't put the key signature, it's in D minor, so that is really an Fb not a D#.
#7
This is pretty sweet. I agree with everything said about the 6-3 before the chorus. It sounds great. The chorus had an awesome rhythm. I could really get into it. The bridge was awesome. I loved the feel. The solo, although not much of a solo, sounded good with the song. The mosh part was also pretty cool. The only bad thing i can say about this is that it might get repetative. I'd give it an 8/10 overall. Crit Mine?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=666362
#8
The main riff is very groovy, I can see people headbanging to it The prechorus realy gets you ready for the fast chorus. Good work!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=10648187#post10648187 crit mine?
For a real pervert, any exit can be an entrance.
Quote by sTx
Awesome post, dude.

Gear:
Epiphone Les Paul Studio Goth
Peavey Valveking 112
My metal band, Nilfgaard
#9
I didn't like this. It sounded like those mainstream type of "metal" bands. The solos were not very well, like you said. And it was just very boring for my taste in metal.

Also, an Fb is an E, you wouldn't call it Fb in a Dm scale. And to help give it that Arabian/Egyptian feel, you should try and use the Dm harmonic scale, which most bands do. D-E-F-G-A-Bb-C#-D
last.fm | Rush Hour | Dead Format
Quote by HxC73107
pray for plagues or off the heezay by bring me the horizon both great songs specially when ur at a pit at trhe reall show