#1
Your parents
They tell you
Theres no
Such thing as
Monsters.

Your parents
Are liars.
Theres a monster
under
your bed.

Its feeds off
The sorrow
of adolesant
mindsets
and blood from
your heart and
your soul and
your mind.

tommorow
you're happy
tonight
you're sad
at midnight
you're dying
because the
monster
found you out.

good night, my
son, for I
know that you
thought that
we were
alright but
we're not
for you're dead.

a blood stained
knife by
your bed, tis
a claw. (claw)
a hand grasping
round it
the monster

is dead.


Idk, kind of wrote this on a whim in a matter of minutes.
#2
I dont particularly like the third stanza. Only because it focuses on a certain type of person. In this case, adolences. I love the last three lines in the third stanza though!
Fourth stanza, last line, seems kinda sketchy, 'found you out', just doesnt seem to work for me. maybe something like 'found you' or 'found out' or, even lengethen the line 'found out about you'.
Fifth stanza seems to bring the whole focus on the adolesant to a good base. It now shows the third stanza proved a purpose.

Other than those very very small things i dont like, its very good. I love the style shown here, short and sweet. Very nice. Keep it up!

Crit one of mine? One of the links in green would be great thanks.