#1
I'm not sure if I like it or not, you be the judge. I might add more, I might not...some sort of bridge or coda maybe. Title is subject to change. c4c i guess.


the world's a tableau,
but i'm moving.
i have photographs,
i can prove it.
a bout of confusion,
i suffer delusions...
no i don't.

isolation confines me,
i can feel it.
i found a few bridges,
so i burned them.
a fit of aggression,
taught me a lesson...
no it didn't.

i gotta go but there's nowhere left for me to be

a dirty mirror,
shards on the floor.
distorted reflection,
see to my soul.
don't got no compassion,
life's everlasting...
no it's not.

i gotta go but there's nowhere left for me to be
#2
very nice. little bit of a paranoid feel, themes of isolation and rejection of social acceptance.

i like the loose rhyming scheme. the verses are almost lost but then are pulled together again by the second and third last lines.

Not much of a crit...but there isn't much to say..it could become a good song if you put a nice tune to it. Crit mine if you feel obliged(sig)