#1
{Verse 1}
I used to know this lonely girl
She was known for shaking during class
Her pearly teeth would chew on pens
While her purple eyes watched time pass

They would all laugh at her eyes
And wait for her fits
They commit attempted murder
Tossing her into her pit

{Chorus}
And her only pastime was bleeding
Releasing her dark fears
Bandaging her cuts with pills
Laced with peroxide tears

{Verse 2}
I used to know this sad girl
Who was known for being poor
Her waist so thin, it caved in
Like she ever purged before

They would all love her great “2”
Though their wanting eyes were green
And envious she was of them
So she hid behind her sheen.
{Chorus}

{Bridge}
And it’s hard for me to believe
That these pretty girls die
The roses in the casket
Should be where only I lie

{Verse 3}
Though who would be surprised
To see these pretty girls stand
During “ashes to ashes”
They claw their way to land

Who says the dead can’t rise
And join life with us again?

‘Cause true pretty girls never die
Only surrender to pain


(I dunno if the formats right, this is my first try)
Oh noes!
#2
i agree with the subject matter entirely. i'm not sure if it's exactly...."accessible" for people though...not that that matters. ANYWAY, it's solid..except i don't understand "They would all love her great “2”" and "Cause true pretty girls never die Only surrender to pain"

and those seem to be the wrapping up lines, i'm too tired to think too hard right now so if you can explain that for me and i might be able to crit some more
#3
This is always a sensitive subject, but I liked it. By great "2", do you mean her body? A girl having an eating disorder to try to be someone who is admired for their looks? I don't know what the "true pretty girls....pain" means though.

Anyway, like I said, it's a sensitive topic for me, so it pretty much hit me in the right spot, if that's the aim. Good job.
#4
her great two means a size two, the normal size for models. And when I say true pretty girls, I mean as in personality. They are sensitive and carring and because of this they easily get pulled into horrible situations. But in the end, they usually get pulled back on track.
Oh noes!
#5
well then that seems to sum it up nicely, it is a sensitive topic as kirby said but yeah..it hit me in the right spot too. great work, frm the bottom of your belly which wear the magic comes from. Great Job