#1
Charm City Blues

The tax man came and took my earthly things
While kings and queens drove fancy limousines
Just to watch their subjects scrape on bended knee

On a hot Baltimore afternoon
Because they knew we’ve got troubles, too
And their riches will turn to rags very soon

Oh, oh, oh, Baltimore
Oh, oh, oh, Baltimore

A man on Fayette Street’s all skin and bones
He lives in a cardboard shack he calls a home
He’s got no privacy but he’s still all alone

People come from far and near to Charm City
Where the crabcakes taste great and the harbor’s pretty
But everyone passes you by without pity

Oh, oh, oh, Baltimore
Oh, oh, oh, Baltimore

Her streets are covered in grime and grease
And there's been a dozen murders this week
But one day Baltimore will be at peace

Oh, oh, oh, Baltimore
Oh, oh, oh, Baltimore
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#2
I like it.
I'm from Baltimore so I get most of what you said, but I think the murder part is an understatement.
And I hope you're right about being at peace one day.
#3
I really liked all the ironies you used in this piece. Eespecially the one about the man on Fayette street and that he has no privacy, but he's still all alone. I thought the flow was great as well. The AAA didn't seemed force at all. If I was to find one gripoe with this peiece it would be the chorus. I think you should expand on it, but that's just a personal preference. Anyways, this was a solid piece. Nice work, man.

Crit mine please
Paper Shrines In Closet Museums
#4
Sounds good man. Like he said, good irony. I'd like to hear it with tunes.
#5
quite solid, let me in on some other stuff you have.

Constructive Crit: You might want to change the title to just Charm City. This would give a listener more thought into the lyric which seems to be the keystone structure to this song. So as a recommendation drive your point home and just take off the blues part. (Also personally i think to many songs have blues at the end of them.)

This is fine work though, you can always see me adding suggestions to peoples work. Im like ug's unofficial lyric critic. If you guys want to contact me check my profile at Telic.
#6
i loved this piece man. mostly because i love everything about Baltimore and it just makes sense.

you're from annapolis? i vacation there around the Chesapeake Bay every summer! amazing crab shack location.

so yeah, i agree with Telic. Charm City sounds like a better name and you could do without the blues part.

i think everyone can agree that the part about the poor man is the best part of this piece.

the only part i did not like was

People come from far and near to Charm City
Where the crabcakes taste great and the harbor’s pretty
But everyone passes you by without pity

it just didn't work for me, but hey if you want to keep it then keep it. i realize that this has a lot to do with Baltimore but maybe if you re worded it.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=663404
#7
Yeah, I'm from Annapolis. I go to Baltimore pretty often, though, and I really love that city.

Thanks for the feedback, guys.
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#8
Apart from the "where the... pretty" line (which just reeked too much of G n R) it's just too unoriginal for my liking, this was a solid, if un-amazing, song.

In fact, the whole verses with the line I mentioned is really forced and poor compared to the others. I think it should be re-written that verse, it just doesn't fit with the rest in my opinion.

Nice little blues number though.

Could you leave a small comment on mine? It's in my sig. Many thanks, Doc.