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#1
i just took the coolest sh*t of my life!!!
it was all wavy, and smooth, and was the coolest shade of brown i ever saw!
it was like the highlight of my day!!!!
share experiences of your amazing (or not so amazing ) poop stories
go!
#2
i once shat on your mothers face
Quote by -Collapse-
Oh, hello mister tracer! Lets dance!
Quote by CodySG
And we all poop in the sandwiches!


New Drug Chat, Eh? CLICK HERE


pass: misterhoffman
#3
What the hell, my **** never comes out all "cool"...I had diahrrea today and it burnt like a mother ****er. Not too mention wiping after that sucks.
#4
fail
"Blues is what you got when everything else is
gone." - J.Lansdowne
#5
pics or it didnt happen
Quote by boredloserkid1
i have 3 balls n no penis..its called flopeouinesinea

Quote by Burpin'Worm
I'd suck off my grandad while getting bummed by my dad and tossed off by my brother for a million.
#6
Quote by poopsmith666
i once shat on your mothers face



I lol'ed. almost lmao'd.
''Technological advancements are like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.'' - Albert Einstein
#7
Quote by burrit0
What the hell, my **** never comes out all "cool"...I had diahrrea today and it burnt like a mother ****er. Not too mention wiping after that sucks.


that is the funniest sh*t i've ever heard
(pun not intended, ultil i realized it. then i had to keep it!)
#10
sorry...

I can't help but remember that one Shin Chan

the father: ahh, what a great dump. one splash, one wipe. win.
Team Orange

Quote by Ehh
You calling your parents assholes because they wouldn't buy you a phone with a camera? Maybe you deserve to have picks on your nips.
#11
one time, it came out blue, not sure how that happened, but it did.
Fender Standard American Stratocaster
Boss DS-1
Budda Budwah
Electroharmonix Small Clone
Vox AD50VT
#12
Quote by TheGuitarDreams
sorry...

I can't help but remember that one Shin Chan

the father: ahh, what a great dump. one splash, one wipe. win.


One wipe is what we call a magic poo.
#13
I have many stories about my wonderfull sh*ts.

There's the time that I overflowed the toilet at my family's Easter dinner with all cousins and grandparents etc.

I can't forget my famous 4-hour-long crap. No joke.

There's the time my crap took shape as a witch's hat on Halloween night.

And the time I had to go home from school because I hurt EVERYWHERE. I'd never felt a pain so horribly excruciating in all my life. Got home, farted, all better.

Almost forgot the time my crap was green with full heads of broccoli imbedded into it.

I clogged the only toilet in a small local chapel during a funeral.

And I've clogged the school's toilets many times, even with their high-velocity flushes that sound like they're gonna eat you alive.

At the movies, I started peeing. A guy started peeing next to me, he started, finished, and I was still going. Another guy: started, finished, I'm still goin. Another guy: started, finished, I'm still goin. Another guy: started, finished, and I'm still-a-goin. Another guy: started, and we finished at the same time. No joke

I kept my whole grade from leaving for a field trip because I was lettin loose a duce.

I've done that twice.

Oh, can't forget my unforgetable "Toilet Plunging Techniques" thread.

I clogged the toilet without even using toilet paper before.

I left skid marks at a fancy restaurant's bathroom once.

I have MANY more, I just can't post them online...
#16
Once i was on ther ****ter for hours reading a magazine and when i got up i had major squat-dots


EDIT: for those who dont know those are the red marks left by your elbows on your thighs
Quote by boredloserkid1
i have 3 balls n no penis..its called flopeouinesinea

Quote by Burpin'Worm
I'd suck off my grandad while getting bummed by my dad and tossed off by my brother for a million.
#17
"Post all your amazing and cool sh*t stories here" lol
crit my drawings with comments in profile! thanks
(just go to the pictures section)


Quote by Lostprophets$$$
I agree with him

Also, wtf's a buttplug? If its something u put in her ass, then what the f*ck's ur penis for? Enlighten me pit monkehs (Y)
#18
After reading this I need to go poop. I will take pictures if anyone is interested.
#19
^aww hell yeahz
Quote by Hpda5121
im not a racist because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

fender mexican fat strat (discontinued)
mesa triple recto
digitech grunge
digitech death metal
#20
Quote by halfback_712
I have many stories about my wonderfull sh*ts.

There's the time that I overflowed the toilet at my family's Easter dinner with all cousins and grandparents etc.

I can't forget my famous 4-hour-long crap. No joke.

There's the time my crap took shape as a witch's hat on Halloween night.

And the time I had to go home from school because I hurt EVERYWHERE. I'd never felt a pain so horribly excruciating in all my life. Got home, farted, all better.

Almost forgot the time my crap was green with full heads of broccoli imbedded into it.

I clogged the only toilet in a small local chapel during a funeral.

And I've clogged the school's toilets many times, even with their high-velocity flushes that sound like they're gonna eat you alive.

At the movies, I started peeing. A guy started peeing next to me, he started, finished, and I was still going. Another guy: started, finished, I'm still goin. Another guy: started, finished, I'm still goin. Another guy: started, finished, and I'm still-a-goin. Another guy: started, and we finished at the same time. No joke

I kept my whole grade from leaving for a field trip because I was lettin loose a duce.

I've done that twice.

Oh, can't forget my unforgetable "Toilet Plunging Techniques" thread.

I clogged the toilet without even using toilet paper before.

I left skid marks at a fancy restaurant's bathroom once.

I have MANY more, I just can't post them online...


You sir, are a LEGEND in my eyes
Quote by mcw00t
"so you mean if the father is sterile, the kid will be sterile too?"

Proof God exists and evolution is a lie:
Quote by elguitarrista3
the prove is u because u did n create urself and ur parents dindt and their parents didnt and so on and we are not monkeys peace

#21
Quote by burrit0
What the hell, my **** never comes out all "cool"...I had diahrrea today and it burnt like a mother ****er. Not too mention wiping after that sucks.


Don't wipe, pat dry.
I got some good guitars, yo.
#22
man clogging the toilet is not hard, i used to do it alot but ive been having diariha lately(just found out i am lactose intolorent) but i just cant resist cheese, and wiping after diariha is a bitch, also, is there anyone else that gets peanuts and corn in there poop?
#23
halfback_712 definetely wins this thread.
Quote by Chikitty_China
Good lord. You are amazing.



Quote by Jestersage
It's stereo amp, and I don't think it's tube. However, for a stereo amp, it is very good. Don't plug guitar into it; just use it as hi-fi if it works.
#24
Quote by burrit0
What the hell, my **** never comes out all "cool"...I had diahrrea today and it burnt like a mother ****er. Not too mention wiping after that sucks.

Sounds like someone needs a little more fiber in their diet
#25
Quote by poopsmith666
i once shat on your mothers face



Lol, choked on mah milk.
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#26
wasnt it wayne static that took a dump on a steemhammer? yeah he destroyed that thing
Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid
#27
This thread needs to go curl up in a Port-a-John and die.
-VOTE HERE-
[x ] ROOSEVELT

[x ] WILSON
#28
Taking a **** is the highlight of your day?
You need more things to do
Quote by #1 synth
Brilliant

Quote by Pl3h-B0y
nachocheeez, that was awesome.
#29
an entire thread dedicated to the morning constitutionals.. good lord whats the pit coming to?!?!
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#31
When I was young, I used to pull my underpants all the way down to my ankles to pee. I stood at the toilet bowl peeing once, and I farted. I looked down and saw a perfectly round ball of poop sitting in my underpants.
45 days without my precious UG...
CURSE YOU LOLWUT PEAR!!!

Quote by eggo_boi_15
Arnt the first few things anyone learns on a guitar is

1. Nirvana - smells like teen spirit
2. Prince - Smoke on the water
3. White stripes - seven nation army
#32
my friend took a shit that looked like jabba the hut. Had the eyes and mouth to. We took a picture and showed his dad but he deleated it.
C2B3
Colnel Claypool's Bucket of Bernie Brains

Quote by larry jones
I don't put people's quotes in my sig, but this would go there if I did.
#33
Today i took a dump and i had the best kind crap you could get.
it lasted only for like 3 min
and i didnt need to wipe
cause i there wasnt any poo.

awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#34
Dudes I had diarrhea twice today.

And one time I took a poo and there was blood in it...
#35
You know that feeling you get when you take a huge shit? Awesome.
"The rule of law -- it must be held high! And if it falls you pick it up and hold it even higher!" - Hercule Poirot

© Soul Power
#36
I took this gigantic smelly **** in the bathroom of a recording studio and you could smell it outside of the bathroom. My band mates were outside, so I yelled "GRAB THE ****ING FEBREEZE."

I unlock the door and two of them burst in, one with a can of Febreeze and the other with a ****ing can of Lysol and sprayed me down until I was completely soaked. The area where the bathroom was smelled like **** mixed with Lysol for hours.

What a great day.
Quote by Altered_Carbon
Wow. I got this dip**** to put icy-hot on his dick. I completely forgot about this.
What a good thread.
#37
Quote by deathbyawesome
one time, it came out blue, not sure how that happened, but it did.

dude! i thought i was the only one. I wonder what I ate that day
Whitest Kid U' Know of the Bass Militia
PM Dinky Daisy to join


Originally posted by Civildp1
I can't drink tequila anymore. it makes me do terrible things. Terrible naked things.
#39
Quote by poopsmith666
i once shat on your mothers face


hahahaha

Why's that so funny?!
#40
Quote by halfback_712
I have many stories about my wonderfull sh*ts.

There's the time that I overflowed the toilet at my family's Easter dinner with all cousins and grandparents etc.

I can't forget my famous 4-hour-long crap. No joke.

There's the time my crap took shape as a witch's hat on Halloween night.

And the time I had to go home from school because I hurt EVERYWHERE. I'd never felt a pain so horribly excruciating in all my life. Got home, farted, all better.

Almost forgot the time my crap was green with full heads of broccoli imbedded into it.

I clogged the only toilet in a small local chapel during a funeral.

And I've clogged the school's toilets many times, even with their high-velocity flushes that sound like they're gonna eat you alive.

At the movies, I started peeing. A guy started peeing next to me, he started, finished, and I was still going. Another guy: started, finished, I'm still goin. Another guy: started, finished, I'm still goin. Another guy: started, finished, and I'm still-a-goin. Another guy: started, and we finished at the same time. No joke

I kept my whole grade from leaving for a field trip because I was lettin loose a duce.

I've done that twice.

Oh, can't forget my unforgetable "Toilet Plunging Techniques" thread.

I clogged the toilet without even using toilet paper before.

I left skid marks at a fancy restaurant's bathroom once.

I have MANY more, I just can't post them online...

Holy ****!
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