#1
So lets hear them!

Got aboslutely plastered on 1 litre of gin. Woke up in my bed the next day, couldn't remember ****. Go to check my mobile. Find out i had a text from a girl i kinda liked, it read... "It was all a bit too much last night". Yeah kids, dont drink and dial
Rig:

Gibson ES-335
Peavy Classic 30
#2
so i had a few too many beers, and my girlfriend called, so i jumped in the car to go tend to her needs...

and then i died...
Quote by Guitar0player
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#3
Used a barbed wire fence to keep my balance whilst vomitting.

Tipped over a hammock that was attatched to a frame.

Declared "I cannot feel my nads, therefore I am invincible"
Metal Head

One Day, We'll All Go Into The Water.
Go, Into The Water, Live There, Die There.

Gear
Squier Stratocaster
Jackson Pro Series Kelly
Jackson Dinky Sustaniac
Roland Cube 60
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#5
Quote by Ryan Nias
Used a barbed wire fence to keep my balance whilst vomitting.

Tipped over a hammock that was attatched to a frame.

Declared "I cannot feel my nads, therefore I am invincible"


Rig:

Gibson ES-335
Peavy Classic 30
#6
Hows this for a drunk story. I'm about to hook with a chick I work with. We're friends but I'm drunk eough to do that right meow if you know what I mean....
I don't always post in the threads but when I do its random and pointless because I'm ignorant enough to think you care.
#7
I was drunk with some mates at a bus stop and we pretended to mug this old lady for the lulz by saying 'Just give us a 50 we wont actually hurt you' and she ran away pretty hard.. bad people bad people
Also on that night we met heaps of sweet people on the bus oh god randoms+drunk=awesomeness you have no idea everyones so much cooler
So much random **** goes on my friend once proclaimed 'I NEED THIS BAG TO RUN!' whilst holding a bag and running, my mate threw up whilst running, i tried to get aborigines out of a cave when the cave was about .5meters high and no one was in it, i ran around saying id spiked the punch when all i did was pour vodka into my own glass LOL at our formal i was so drunk i was kicked out 5 times and a giant X was drawn on my neck so they knew to not let me in oh god so many things.. just last friday there was this random fat guy who we made friends with and he asked us to slap his potbelly.. ahaha good times

AHHAHA edit: also at one party i poledance infront of my friends mum on their washing line.. ahahaa yes i am a dude and at another party i crash tackled a drain pipe to the ground and went to sleep hugging it in the middle of the dancefloor ahahaha
You dont need pants for the victory dance!
#8
The usual knocking things over.
Walked full speed into the side of a parked car. (It was dark out and no lights anywhere)

I can't remember most of my antics right now since I'm drunk right now.
#9
Quote by Ryan Nias
Declared "I cannot feel my nads, therefore I am invincible"

lmao *sigged*
Main Gear:
guitars;
Gibson LPJ
Squire CLASSIC VIBE Stratocaster 60's
PRS SE Custom 24
Epiphone Sheraton II

amps;
Bugera 1990, 6260
Egnater Tweaker
#10
Woot! Sigged!
I was really sick later that night, hehe.
Metal Head

One Day, We'll All Go Into The Water.
Go, Into The Water, Live There, Die There.

Gear
Squier Stratocaster
Jackson Pro Series Kelly
Jackson Dinky Sustaniac
Roland Cube 60
Peavey Triple XXX Stack
#12
I very rarely get drunk enough to do something worthy of a story, I usually spend my time looking after my friends who can't handle it and break down crying or throw up and pass out. Buggers.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#13
fall over **** all the time and just make a fool of myself. lol thank god i havent been the guy that takes his pants off yet though...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote by Stormx
oh great man god, pray tell: how do I become as cold and emotionless as you?!
#14
I lost my motor reflexes, they weren't just impaired they literally weren't there.

So people started throwing stuff at me but i couldn't block, or move or do anything so I just passed out at around 2ish and proceeded to wake up on a playground at 6 in the morning with no recollection of how I got there (I was like 20 miles away and it was like -15 degrees celsius ).

Yeah, I'm pretty boring while drunk.
Quote by soulflyV
Prepare to have every orifice in your body occupied by a dwarf.
#15
okay

story time

lunch table thing

me and some friends put vodka in an iced tea bottle

filled it all the way up and closed it so it didnt look like it had been opened

drinking

i end up dancing on the lunch table and had to go to counseling for drinking in school

=]
#16
If I ever get drunk 1 of 2 things will happen.

1) I will wake up next to some random naked chick.

2) I will wake up in a field/side of the road

Im a very boring person when Im drunk
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#17
My mates sister was on a computer next to a window so I decided to lift up my shirt to reveal all of my flabby goodness and pressed it against the window. Not my finest hour as she still remembered a year later and gave me the same 'I want to kill you' look.
Quote by Dæmönika
Quote by italynlprkn
yo tambien
What the hell's a tambien?
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
its like basic math. 1 + -1 = 1
#18
Well i explained to this chicks mum how to poke someone, "two in the vagina, one up the bum, and if it isnt working TURN IT AROUND HAHAHA"

She wasnt impressed, but i see it as her bad for walking into a room full of drunks
#19
Drank way too much Bell's whiskey (around 750 ml i would imagine) proceeded to help my mates mum wash the dishes......she was the one who told us to go easy on the alcohol
#20
when im "drunk", i can't anything. i have little flash backs of me waiting by the sober drivers car waiting to go home, and te next thing is waking up the next afternoon.

a week ago after coming home from a party, my bro said i tried to get back in the car, as i thought we hadn't gone to the party yet
#21
Quote by hmmm_de_hum
Drank way too much Bell's whiskey (around 750 ml i would imagine) proceeded to help my mates mum wash the dishes......she was the one who told us to go easy on the alcohol



By wash dishes you mean sex right?
Quote by soulflyV
Prepare to have every orifice in your body occupied by a dwarf.
#22
lol actually, i love getting told about the random phone calls i make to ppl when im drunk. eg. my pissed off ex the other day. classic!
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Quote by Stormx
oh great man god, pray tell: how do I become as cold and emotionless as you?!
#23
Quote by Garret.
By wash dishes you mean sex right?


lol i actually mean doing the dishes, i would never bang his mum.....she a ****ing nazi
#24
you'll remember this wannabe_jesus,

a few years ago i was drunk and my sister was on msn talking to cliff_em_all. she was on webcam and i thought it would be funny to try and take my bra off, which as you can imagine didn't work very well. i ended up breaking my bra strap, doing a funny little drunken dance and fall asleep on the sofa.

to this day wannabe_jesus and cliff_em_all always shout *PING!!!* at me
Quote by rich_sg
Oh come on Emz, the thread is who's your favorite UG'er, not MOST FAVORITE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!


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You Jackass_babe are cool.
#25
Quote by jackass_babe
you'll remember this wannabe_jesus,

a few years ago i was drunk and my sister was on msn talking to cliff_em_all. she was on webcam and i thought it would be funny to try and take my bra off, which as you can imagine didn't work very well. i ended up breaking my bra strap, doing a funny little drunken dance and fall asleep on the sofa.

to this day wannabe_jesus and cliff_em_all always shout *PING!!!* at me




PING
Quote by Dæmönika
Quote by italynlprkn
yo tambien
What the hell's a tambien?
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
its like basic math. 1 + -1 = 1
#26
I took a wrong turn walking home from a club.

Next thing I know it's half past 4 in the morning and I'm lost, with absolutely no idea where the **** I am, and it's wet and I'm cold

Have a moment of sheer genius, and start using the bus route signs to make sure I'm walking in the right direction, and I end up back home at 6 in the morning.
Populus vult decipi. Decipiatur.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's can be a contraction and genitive case.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#27
Woke up in a 5ft deep dith with my bike on top of me

Poured a jug of water all over this mate of mine while he was trying to pull
"Make my funk the P-Funk, I want my funk uncut"
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Fender Highway One Tele
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#28
Quote by jxljxl
Woke up in a 5ft deep dith with my bike on top of me

Poured a jug of water all over this mate of mine while he was trying to pull


those two rock. waking up with your bike on top of you. It wouldn't be nearly as funny if you were just next to your bike but it was on top .

I just remembered this one. I was at a party and I was just sitting outside with some friends and one guy was crawling across the grass stroking an empty bottle. Eventually someone tried to help him inside and he suddenly shouted "I NEED THE INGREDIENTS" in a really distressed kind of way which had my mates and I in fits for ages.
Quote by Dæmönika
Quote by italynlprkn
yo tambien
What the hell's a tambien?
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
its like basic math. 1 + -1 = 1
#29
Well at the time I had been playing Rome Total War so I got very very drunk and passed out in a locked toilet. Mate knocks on the door asking me if I was ok. Our conversation goes like this
Jonny: Sean you ok?
Me: Nooooo!
Jonny: Why?
Me: The Romans are invading!
Jonny: What?
Me: I need my cavalry...the sunk my fleet

I then drank two pint of my own sick 'cause a different mate said I wouldn't.

EDIT: I also fell off a shed into a plant pot I now have a scar on my wrist so it looks like I've been cutting myself That was a hard one to explain
Last edited by Count Seanula at Sep 3, 2007,
#30
I punched through a window.

Still have scars
Populus vult decipi. Decipiatur.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's can be a contraction and genitive case.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#31
generally, my tales involve too much alcohol, girls, and lack of judgement.

i did once drink about two bottles of wine at a faculty event then cycle back to college along a busy road. the main road was fine, because my momentum kept me going. but then i had to slow down to go on a little narrow lane. i fell off a few times. but then i got back going, triumphantly made my way through the college gates, fell off again, went to my girlfriends room, took off my clothes (falling over several times in the process) before going to be. at 9pm. silliness. needless to say, i missed my 9am the next morning.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
Last edited by Gurgle!Argh! at Sep 3, 2007,
#32
Here's a pretty funny story, and it's my first post in these fine forums, so I figured a drunken story would be a good way to start things off. And to make this story less confusing:

Ian: DTL's singer
Chewy: DTL's guitarist
Chris: Me

About 2 years ago, I was in a band called Dying to Live...actually, I recently rejoined this band, so perhaps "was" isn't quite the word I'm looking for. Anyways, it was Chewy's birthday party, and we celebrated at his friend Billy's house. Beforehand, I had gotten a bottle of Jagermeister, so I was set. Especially since this was back when I was 18, before I really started drinking a lot, so my alcohol tolerance was pretty damn low. We began drinking, and the night was going pretty well...needless to say, that was about to change.

The day before, Chewy had shown me a song his friend drunkenly recorded on his computer about his girlfriend, Miranda. Since Chewy wanted to know how to play it, I learned it by ear for him. During the party, I begin playing and singing this song, since I was pretty drunk by this time. I finished off my Jager, and started in on a few beers. We went to Albertson's and got more beer, and by this point, I was completely plowed...I don't remember much about this trip except drunkenly talking someone's ear off, and the horrified look on his face.

We go back to Billy's, and his sister force-feeds me a few more beers, and I finally pass out. Ian and Chewy woke me up to go home, and here's how the conversation went:

Them: "Chris, c'mon, time to go back to Chewy's!"
Me: "I'm Miranda!"
Them: "What??"
Me: "You know what I'm sayin..."

On the way home, Ian and Chewy start making jokes about how Miranda has a moustache and a unibrow, and I start joking right along with them...they started laughing so hard that Chewy almost went off the road. We get back to Chewy's apartment, and I walk past a mirror and discover that Chewy had drawn a Hitler moustache and a unibrow on my face with a Sharpie! From then on, I was (and still am) known as Miranda.
#33
Left a house party i my town so totally plastered, me and my friend attempted to walk home (this is deep in a neighborhood where no main roads are near), but we can't read the street signs.

Woke up the next morning in a bush, my friend passed out on the sidewalk.

Walked to Dunkin' Donuts and got some bagels twenty minutes later.
Life is underrated.


Quote by Mad Marius
That's like saying you got cancer that comes with AIDS.
#34
Me and 2 friends got incredibly drunk in our dorm one night. we all 3 passed out and woke up around 4 am with moustaches and eyepatches drawn on our faces...no idea who did that, and we couldnt wash it off. we went downstairs to get food from the vending machines and found a wheelchair sitting in the lobby so we took it to the parking lot ( a big hill) and rolled down it until my friend eventually put the brake on so hard that the wheel came off and he suffered one nasty spill
Quote by sashki
A lot of pros do that: if they play a wrong note, they'll hit it again to make it look as if it's intentional. It's called "jazz", aparently.


Member #12 of the "I play my guitar as high as Tom Morello does" club