It was fine until the singing came in.

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I'm going to be honest, this really needs some work. I'll give one thing to you and that's that the recording was against you. It would probably even sound a little better live. The vocals and drums were really bad. Here's the deal, the vocals don't even half to be good, just put some strain and emotion in them. It felt un-inspired. Nex thing is that everyone starts out like this. The key is to just keep working, then you can display your music when you're atleast somehwhat proud of it. And I really don't think you're proud of this.
yeah, not only were the vocals bad, but they sounded off time alot, of course so did the drums. i liked what you were going for, but it definately needs alot of work