I think the guitar is just slightly out of tune. The opening humming is also slightly out of tune, but from there on the vocals are really sweet. I like the tempo changes. The only thing that needs some serious reworking is the guitar solo at the end.

Anyway, C4C http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/poona/ check out my cover of the Four Horsemen(Metallica) click the one that says 'vocals redone'.
Fender Diamond Anniversary Stratocaster
Washburn Dime V Pro
Peavy Bandit 112
Fender Frontman 15R

A few of my originals can be found at

^^^Yeah I was in chorus for a few years in high school and went to All State Chorus(only guy to go), so I knew I could sing, it's just a matter of knowing the right notes to sing I guess. And I need a new guitar badly I know, piece of crap 60 dollar guitar bought at Wal-Mart ha ha...Anyway, I fed your piece also.
thanx for the crit had a listen to your songs and i think they're great. Got some good haunting sounds going on.
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Fender Strat USA
Fender Acoustic
VoxAD 100VT
Boss GT8
Line 6 PodXT Pro Rack