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#1
So i had sex with a friend of mine the other day, and she says in the middle of it talk dirty to me, talk dirty to me. and it was the only time i have ever felt awkward during sex. i had nothing to say so i just kept going lol.

anyone feel awkward about this, had the same thing happen?

or do you like talking dirty? what do you say,....
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J!E!T!S! JETS JETS JETS!!!!!
#2
Well, first you should put on your robe and wizard hat.
Life is underrated.


Quote by Mad Marius
That's like saying you got cancer that comes with AIDS.
#4
Good story, that does sound kind of awkward. If it happens again say something like "I'm gonna slit your god damn throat baby" or something that will catch her off guard.
666 BRO
#5
Quote by Kankuro
Good story, that does sound kind of awkward. If it happens again say something like "I'm gonna slit your god damn throat baby" or something that will catch her off guard.



hahahahahaq thats halarious,
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J!E!T!S! JETS JETS JETS!!!!!
#6
Quote by Riddler
Well, first you should put on your robe and wizard hat.


rofl i read those convos last night funny ****
#7
i wouldnt know.. but i can imagine myself singing that Devo song.. 'whip it' the whole time
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#8
Does anyone else think of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry said, "your mom lays out your panties for you," or something like that. It was too the girl who was talking dirty to him during sex and he wanted to keep up with her.
#9
"I'm gonna rub icy hot all over your body, then do a barrel roll off the bed and end it all in one giant orgasmic explosion of RICK ROLL"
Quote by LedZepKicksAzz
You are simply the greatest person ever to walk this great planet.
#10
be like, aw yeah baby, its like im ****ing a bag of marshmallows, you lumpy bitches get meh so HAWT
I play a guitar strung with Yngwie's chest hair
#11
Quote by burrit0
Does anyone else think of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry said, "your mom lays out your panties for you," or something like that. It was too the girl who was talking dirty to him during sex and he wanted to keep up with her.



hahaha that was really sick, i am not sick you said much sicker things than me
GO Islanders!

J!E!T!S! JETS JETS JETS!!!!!
#13
*Play's Akon's "I Wanna Fuck You"*
WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE PIT A FUCKING METALCORE KID
#14
Wow, TS, you're so cool!
Jesus for president. PM me to join the campaign. or just sig it.

Of course God has a sense of humor. Look at the Platypus...

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#16
why cant people use the search bar. this belongs in the sex thread. however now for my 2 cents. i dont really ahve an opinion because normally dead bodies dont talk
I LIKE Josh Klinghoffer

"Mr. Lippman of the Seinfeld Avatar Club-PM IHATECHILDREN to join."

Frusciante for President in '08
#17
You should try and freak her out by telling her how much you want to smear your shit all over her and then lick it off.
___________________________


___________________________
#18
Quote by Slim_bob.Billy
why cant people use the search bar. this belongs in the sex thread. however now for my 2 cents. i dont really ahve an opinion because normally dead bodies dont talk


you are wrong.

pwnd!
GO Islanders!

J!E!T!S! JETS JETS JETS!!!!!
#21
Just say ****ing ***** < insert word there

Like, tits, ass, pussy. Stuff like that.

Just putting it out there. lol

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#23
lol that might work. i might sound like an artard, but ill try it next time have sex
GO Islanders!

J!E!T!S! JETS JETS JETS!!!!!
#24
Quote by Twist of fate
Say the following:

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies

I'm a paladin with 84 mage and 60 charisma. I'm going to wield my helm of disintegration while my plus 5 mage wields his armour.



PALADINS CAN'T WEAR THE HELM OF DISINTEGRATION!
Life is underrated.


Quote by Mad Marius
That's like saying you got cancer that comes with AIDS.
#25
Quote by Riddler
PALADINS CAN'T WEAR THE HELM OF DISINTEGRATION!


That's what's so damn sexy about it
#28
Quote by sketchy z
So i had sex with a friend of mine the other day, and she says in the middle of it talk dirty to me, talk dirty to me. and it was the only time i have ever felt awkward during sex. i had nothing to say so i just kept going lol.

anyone feel awkward about this, had the same thing happen?

or do you like talking dirty? what do you say,....
Foolish, foolish boy. Your girfriend is a FREAK. I'm gonna steal your girlfriend.

I can hardly wait to run my tongue slowly up her inner thigh until it finally approaches the waiting prize. Gently parting those lips and tasting the moistness of her womanhood will be so sweet, especially know that I've stolen her from you. I'll be teasing her with my tongue while my hands find their way to her nipples, rock-hard and erect with anticipation. But I'm in no rush. I'll take my time gradually bringing her stimulation just one step short of ecstacy. She'll finally beg me to fuck her. My filthy manhood will be poised for entry at her awaiting gates. I'll look into her eyes, and say do you want it, baby? She'll whimper "Yes, do me .... now." As I plunge into her depths, her thighs will quiver. But, I won't be so kind as to push her over the edge just yet. I'll withdraw, so just the tip is inside. Taking tiny, shallow thrusts, I'll again look into her eyes and say "Do you want it?" She'll say "yessssssssssss!" I'll tell her "Then say fuck me." As the words come out of her mouth, I'll start ramming her, like I'm trying to bang her into the next county. I'll stop when I'm sure she's just one moment away from losing her mind. I'll again stop at the top of a stroke and tell her "Say it again, baby" She'll keep saying fuck me .... fuck me ... fuck me, as I ram her, until finally we both explode in the passion, and end up a hot, sweaty tangle, tired and spent.


...or you could just do it yourself, nubcakes.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Sep 4, 2007,
#29
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Foolish, foolish boy. Your girfriend is a FREAK. I'm gonna steal your girlfriend.

I can hardly wait to run my tongue slowly up her inner thigh until it finally approaches the waiting prize. Gently parting those lips and tasting the moistness of her womanhood will be so sweet, especially know that I've stolen her from you. I'll be teasing her with my tongue while my hands find their way to her nipples, rock-hard and erect with anticipation. But I'm in no rush. I'll take my time gradually bringing her stimulation just one step short of ecstacy. She'll finally beg me to fuck her. My filthy manhood will be poised for entry at her awaiting gates. I'll look into her eyes, and say do you want it, baby? She'll whimper "Yes, do me .... now." As I plunge into her depths, her thighs will quiver. But, I won't be so kind as to push her over the edge just yet. I'll withdraw, so just the tip is inside. Taking tiny, shallow thrusts, I'll again look into her eyes and say "Do you want it?" She'll say "yessssssssssss!" I'll tell her "Then say fuck me." As the words come out of her mouth, I'll start ramming her, like I'm trying to bang her into the next county. I'll stop when I'm sure she's just one moment away from losing her mind. I'll again stop at the top of a stroke and tell her "Say it again, baby" She keep saying fuck me .... fuck me ... fuck me, as I ram her, until finally we both explode in the passion, and end up a hot, sweaty tangle, tired and spent.


...or you could just do it yourself, nubcakes.


damn now i have a boner
Quote by Alter-Bridge
My nipples. WHAT ARE THEY FOR?!?!?!?!
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Put your penis in a raging hot fire, that should melt the bottle off
Quote by Leonheart
4e574e57363g, despite your first post on a thread almost always being PWNT you kickass.
#30
Quote by burrit0
Does anyone else think of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry said, "your mom lays out your panties for you," or something like that. It was too the girl who was talking dirty to him during sex and he wanted to keep up with her.


omf that was the best **** ever
#31
Quote by 4e574e57363g
damn now i have a boner


Dude, you say that like it's a bad thing.
Just find yourself a horny chick, and make use of it.
If you can't find one of your own, I know this guy who's girlfriend likes guys to talk dirty to her.
We can get her in the mood, and have a spit roast.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#33
"It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. "
Epic
time machine. Inadvertently, I had created a
#38
Quote by sketchy z
So i had sex with a friend of mine the other day, and she says in the middle of it talk dirty to me, talk dirty to me. and it was the only time i have ever felt awkward during sex. i had nothing to say so i just kept going lol.

anyone feel awkward about this, had the same thing happen?

or do you like talking dirty? what do you say,....



Did she say it twice?
#39
Quote by thewho65
You: Ohhh...f*ck yeah

Girl: Ahhhhhhgh

You: Hey b*tch,

Girl: Ohhh yeah, talk to me dirty

You:

today in school we had to make this paper airplanes and do this experiment and the teacher was all like "it did this rolling over thing...uhh uhh" (she couldn't think of the right word) and I was all like "IT DID A BARREL ROLL! LOLZ" and no one laughed but my friend who uses this site.
oh and at the picture.

#40
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.


haha
Quote by fukyu1980
LOL ! muther fuker i was gonna say that LOL!
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