#1
The memories still flowing strong,
The endless happiness we shared,
Broken down by thoughtless acts,
Of one stupid choice I made,


So hard to find,
A meaning for life,
Is it meant to be this hard?


Why does everything…
Remind me of your beautiful face?
Why does everything…
Seem so hard to contemplate



What’s left for me to find,
Something there in the shadows,
Can I not see what’s in front of me,
Maybe its selective blindness,


So hard to find,
A meaning for life,
Is it meant to be this hard?


Why does everything…
Remind me of your beautiful face?
Why does everything…
Seem so hard to contemplate


I am right? Am I wrong?
Is it me you’re hoping for?
I miss you more, Everyday
It is you I’m eager for…


So hard to find,
A meaning for life,
Is it meant to be this hard?


Why does everything…
Remind me of your beautiful face?
Why does everything…
Seem so hard to contemplate



All crit welcome...Dont hold anything back
#2
The memories still flowing strong,
The endless happiness we shared,
Broken down by thoughtless acts,
Of one stupid choice I made,

the first line seems to lack cohesion with the rest of the stanza, i'd revise it.

So hard to find,
A meaning for life,
Is it meant to be this hard?

i don't quite like the repetition of "hard", maybe you could look for different wording here.

Why does everything…
Remind me of your beautiful face?
Why does everything…
Seem so hard to contemplate

hmm... there's something about this bit that's nagging at me, but i dunno what it is.

What’s left for me to find,
Something there in the shadows,
Can I not see what’s in front of me,
Maybe its selective blindness,

second line seems rather random, like you used it only to fill that space. i like the concept of "selective blindness". i think i'd make the third line more subtle and let the reader read the whole stanza before fully grasping what you're saying, if you know what i mean - that can certainly be accomplished by keeping the last line as it is, mind you.

I am right? Am I wrong?
Is it me you’re hoping for?
I miss you more, Everyday
It is you I’m eager for…

i believe that should be "every day" in the third line, and i don't think you need that comma after "more". this stanza definitely seems too plain to me at the moment.

overall this piece is not bad, but it does need something more to it. i'd look for more elaborate wording to express everything in a more striking way, like not so direct, and you could also consider being a little vague at times so as to allow the reader to reach their own conclusions instead of saying everything so plainly. also, i believe you really need to be more constant with punctuation. commas at the end of every line can be a little annoying as well as confusing - it doesn't really help the flow to place unnecessary commas, and neither does it help when they're placed instead of other punctuation marks that might be important for the flow or the meaning. dunno, i really think you ought to do some revising and try to improve this piece, but keep it up.
so who do i have to kill to get a crit? --> Memory


(e-cookie for whoever spots the alliteration, ha)


y cuando llegue el momento, sólo el viento se llevará lo que siento; y cuando acabe mi suerte, sólo en la muerte estaré fuerte y despierto...