#1
Here's a song i wrote and i wanted to know if it was any good or not... so just be honest and detailed if you'd like. Criticism is cool with me. Just don't be one of those retarded kids that writes stuff just to sound funny.

Undecided

Verse 1:
Can you help this boy, lift up his spirits?
There’s only one disposition, he doesn’t want to hear it
Love it or leave it, it’s just the motto that he lives by
Just wasn’t appealing, but it’s always in the back of his mind

Chorus:
He needs to know,
he’s always thinking of you
but he never gets the courage to
Show himself
he always thought he could wait
but soon it’ll be too late
Careful what you wish for (Careful what you’re wishin’ for)

Verse 2:
Can you see his pain? Searching for comfort
Now he can’t tell where to begin, he doesn’t want to be hurt
Love it or leave it, it’s just the motto that he lives by
Just wasn’t appealing, but it’s always in the back of his mind

Bridge:
Why can’t he sweep it
Under the carpet
Cause you know it means so much to him
Last edited by itsaforestfire at Sep 4, 2007,
#3
songwriting forum?
--F-F-T-S---
--EbOla----
---name pending?--

Quote by PlayMadness
No. Everybody dies. And one day, given that your relationship doesn't crash and burn like so many do, one of you will end up deep in sorrow while watching the other one die.


#4
what have you in mind for music for it?? or is it just pen and paper so far?

i like the words regardless man, just keep slogging away at it, they get better and better the more you work on them
Grammar Nazi.
#5
S&L forum plzzz
BIIGFTJ?
(Jack) why teh fuck do people still have rottweilers/pit bulls?
(Lucy) why the fuck not?
(Jack) because they have a strange tendency to EAT YOUR CHILDREN