#1
I wrote this poem for my AP Literature class, and I'm thinking about making it into a song for my band. It's going to have a punkish feel to it, a fast chord progression, the works:

Ice Castle

Far away a dove does cry
As the mission bells do toll
If I had my way tonight
Your heart wouldn’t be so cold

A warm hello after every show
Tears me up inside
Do not waste your life my dear
Please hurry, do decide

Melt your ice castle so you may have this rose
Melt your ice castle so I can know

This dark black pen writes in haste
As I urge you to reply
For my darkling dear I miss you
And want you to be mine

Melt your ice castle so you may have this rose
Melt your ice castle so I can know
I want you here right now so please decide,
I want you to be mine.

**If you have any hints or advice, it'd be much appreciated.

C4C of course.
Get off my lawn.
Last edited by HawkaLuigi at Sep 4, 2007,
#2
i like ice castle metaphor. Very nice. Melt it so i can have the rose. I really like that. A couple of repititious parts in the verse but if that's how you write then thats ok. Overall very well written.
#3
You get 500 Sanctus points.

Edit:
Quote by fenderdude06
i think this would be a better acoustic piece than punk but make it work if you can.
+1
hai guize join mah gr00pz plz kthx:

Last edited by Sanctus Ignis at Sep 4, 2007,
#5
Darkling is a nickname I use for a girl in songs or poems, it's just a habit mostly. Will check yours out.
Get off my lawn.