#1
Do It Yourself Country Western Song

I met her __________ _____; I can still recall _________.
(1) (2) (3)

1.
on the highway
in Sheboygan
outside Fresno
at a truck stop
on probation
in a jail cell
in a nightmare
incognito
in the Stone Age
in a treehouse
in a gay bar

2.
in September
at McDonald's
ridin' shotgun
wrestlin' gators
all hunched over
poppin' uppers
sort of pregnant
with some joggers
stoned on oatmeal
with Merv Griffin
dead all over

3.
that purple dress
that little hat
that burlap bra
those training pants
the stolen goods
that plastic nose
the Stassin pin
the neon sign
that creepy smile
the hearing aid
the boxer shorts


She was ______ _____,
(4) (5)

4.
sobbin' at the toll booth
drinkin' Dr. Pepper
weighted down with Twinkies
breakin' out with acne
crawlin' through the prairie
smellin' kind of funny
crashin' through the guardrail
chewin' on a hangnail
talkin' in Swahili
drownin' in the quicksand
slurpin' up linguini


5.
in the twilight
but I loved her
by the off-ramp
near Poughkeepsie
with her cobra
when she shot me
on her elbows
with Led-Zeppelin
with Miss Piggy
with a wetback
in her muu-muu


and I knew _______. _______ I'd ______ forever;
(6) (7) (8)

6.
no guy would ever love her more
that she would be an easy score
she'd bought her dentures in a store
that she would be a crashing bore
I'd never rate her more than "4"
they'd hate her guts in Baltimore
it was a raven, nothing more
we really lost the last World War
I'd have to scrape her off the floor
what strong deodorants were for
that she was rotten to the core
that I would upchuck on the floor

7.
I promised her
I knew deep down
She asked me if
I told her shrink
The judge declared
My Pooh Bear said
I shrieked in pain
The painters knew
A Klingon said
My hamster thought
The blood test showed
Her rabbi said

8.
stay with her
warp her mind
swear off booze
change my sex
punch her out
live off her
have my rash
stay a dwarf
hate her dog
pick my nose
play "Go Fish"
salivate


She said to me ____. But who'd have thought she'd _____
(9) (10)

9.
our love would never die
there was no other guy
man wasn't meant to fly
that Nixon didn't lie
her basset hound was shy
that Rolaids made her high
she'd have a swiss on rye
she loved my one blue eye
her brother's name was Hy
she liked "Spy vs. Spy"
that birthdays made her cry
she couldn't stand my tie


10.
run off
wind up
yodel
boogie
sky dive
turn green
freak out
blast off
make it
black out
bobsled
grovel


___________; _________ goodbye.
(11) (12)

11.
with my best friend
in my Edsel
on a surfboard
on "The Gong Show"
with her dentist
on her "Workmate"
with a robot
with no clothes on
at her health club
in her Maytag
with her guru
while in labor

12.

You'd think at least that she'd have said
I never had the chance to say
She told her fat friend Grace to say
I now can kiss my credit cards
I guess I was too smashed to say
I watched her melt away and sobbed
She fell beneath the wheels and cried
She sent a hired thug to say
She freaked out on the lawn and screamed
I pushed her off the bridge and waved
But that's the way that pygmies say
She sealed me in the vault and smirked


So ... yeah fill it out...
sup?
#2
You know what happens when you play a country song backwards?

You sober up, get your truck, wife and dog back.
#3
You make many pointless threads...


Z-Edit: Though, I have to say I lol'd at the "Met her at McDonalds"
#4
Quote by skeptopotamus
You know what happens when you play a country song backwards?

You sober up, get your truck, wife and dog back.


Stolen from a Rascall Flatts song.

I should NOT know that...
45 days without my precious UG...
CURSE YOU LOLWUT PEAR!!!

Quote by eggo_boi_15
Arnt the first few things anyone learns on a guitar is

1. Nirvana - smells like teen spirit
2. Prince - Smoke on the water
3. White stripes - seven nation army
#5
Quote by skeptopotamus
You know what happens when you play a country song backwards?

You sober up, get your truck, wife and dog back.


...your naked cousin gets off your lap...


Yes, I know, I have a perverted sense of humor.
Quote by Grimme
I know plenty believe me. I've seen both Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet For My Valentine live, so don't tell me I don't know my metal.


www.myspace.com/awkwardsilencemusic
#6
Quote by GeetarAbuse
...your naked cousin gets off your lap...


Yes, I know, I have a perverted sense of humor.


This is the pit. That trait is definitely not unique.
#7
Quote by someguitarguy88
This is the pit. That trait is definitely not unique.

That's what I love about this place.
Quote by Grimme
I know plenty believe me. I've seen both Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet For My Valentine live, so don't tell me I don't know my metal.


www.myspace.com/awkwardsilencemusic
#8
Quote by GeetarAbuse
That's what I love about this place.


I know, it makes me feel normal

*Continues searching for Nude pics of Vanessa Hudgen on 4chan*
#9
I'm not the only one! Then again, yeah, we're all perverts here...this place rocks.
Quote by Grimme
I know plenty believe me. I've seen both Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet For My Valentine live, so don't tell me I don't know my metal.


www.myspace.com/awkwardsilencemusic
#10
Here Ill fill it out:

I met her on the highway in September; I can still recall the hearing aid.

She was drinkin' Dr. Pepper when she shot me,

and I knew what strong deodorants were for. I knew deep down I'd warp her mind forever;

She said to me that Rolaids made her high. But who'd have thought she'd turn green

with her dentist; I now can kiss my credit cards goodbye.
sup?
#11
I met her in Sheboygan at McDonald's; I can still recall the hearing aid,
She was sobbin' at the toll booth with her cobra,
And I knew I'd have to scrape her off the floor. I told her shrink I'd punch her out,
She said to me that birthdays made her cry. But who'd have thought she'd bobsled,
While in labor; But that's the way that pygmies say goodbye.

Catch me,
heal me,
Lift me back up to the Sun
I choose to live
#12
Quote by Firenze
But who'd have thought she'd bobsled,
While in labor; But that's the way that pygmies say goodbye.


sup?
#13
This is completely retarded. What is with the ignorance of people on this board? It blows my mind how close-minded everyone is here. Country music holds value, try and learn from it.
I had my hands in the river,
My feet back up on the bank,
Looked up to the Lord above and said,
"Hey man, Thanks"


Dr. Spinnerbait of the UG Fishermans Club. PM Joe-Fish to join.
#14
Quote by Sqeeezie
This is completely reta--Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And Id like to take a minute just sit right there
Ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air

In west philadelfia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said were up in no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air


Fixed
#15
Quote by Sqeeezie
This is completely retarded. What is with the ignorance of people on this board? It blows my mind how close-minded everyone is here. Country music holds value, try and learn from it.

country can be good... but can country western?
sup?