#1
EDIT: if anyone actually reads this, I have been working on this song a ton to make it so much better than it is now, it's been a while since I made it and I feel like I've grown musically so much in that time span. Be on the lookout for an updated version very soon and to the people who gave me some crit, thanks a bunch, I will return the favor very soon I promise.

So yeah, this is basically a "happy" metal song. Kind of contradictory to the genre of metal maybe, but hey, it's my music and I can do whatever the hell I want to.

I've wrote some random riffs before but this is the first time I've put some together to create a full song, and I honestly think I did a fairly good job considering my n00bness. But everyone can use a little constructive criticism, so that's why it's here lol.

I would greatly appreciate any advice and/or comments about it; I'll gladly return the favor

Oh and I labeled each section pretty explicitly so it should be easy to leave advice or a comment about a certain section.

Thanks again
Attachments:
Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight, Having a Wonderful Time.zip
Last edited by rcw110131 at Jan 29, 2008,
#2
It kinda reminded me of Breaking Benjamin for some reason, not sure why. It was definatly very good though. At first i thought some of the riffs in the beginning to feel a little generic but it flowed with the song nicely. I'm not really sure what flaws there are but i defiantly liked it a lot. =D
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Amps:
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#3
me too, thers not a bad part but as a whole it can be worked on. it might be a bit too cheesy for most people but it works for me. moving in and out of the 'cute little fill thingy' could be improved and also the sudden drop out of the cheese cloud straight into hard riffing and back could be made a more comfrotable ride.


crit mine. thrash instrumental on 1st pg
#4
Haha. Pretty cool concept. It basically sounds like a Pop-Punk band that played riffs instead of power chords. I liked the cheesy Intro as well. Only thing, I think you should have the drums a little more upbeat, just a suggestion.
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#6
There really isn't much to complain about, so to have something to complain about...the name is too long. You could call it like "Having a Godd Time" or something. Also, I wouldn't call it metal. I can hear metal influences, but I could never hear screaming with that. Chris_122 is right about the pop/punk thing. Sounds like good punk music. But really, it was great. I'd say maybe 10/10, maybe 9.5/10 if I was feeling really picky. It was good though. Especially the solo. That was pretty good. I can't solo for crap. The sweep picking at the end was badass too. I can sweep pick , so I can't really do that in any of my songs. But it sounds really good here.

I guess here, could could maybe make the ending different. The fade out was okay, but I think it might be better actually having an ending. I don't know. Just trying to be helpful.
#7
Everything sounds great: the outro especially. th sweep picking was tight and the solo asrety ridiculous too.

my only complaint is probably the drums. i thought there were too many parts where its just bass drum and then one snare/cymbal hit every 2 brs or something. It didnt feel like the song flowed too well with drums like that, but hat mightve been what you were going for. if you want it to flow re than putting the snare on the backbas (2+4) help. just a thought..

9/10 for not as good of drums as i hoped for but still great job!
c4c? death techno in sig. its not as happy as this but any criticism is great!
#8
I like this, but it's far too major-key for my tastes. Neither is it particularly metal.

On the other hand, the riffs are solid stuff. I like the Interlude at bar 37 particularly. The drums are also very nicely tabbed out indeed; actually sounds like a drummer could be playing it (MIDI excepted )

The whole thing also goes on a little long, with too much repetition at times. For example, the sweeping I think could be cut down, or at least some different arpeggios could be used. Good effort overall though.

C4C?
#9
wow.. sounds like something Iron Maiden would've done..
really, it's great
You like it
#10
It reminds me of pop-core...

What is pop-core? www.myspace.com/weekendfm (not my band I swear...)

If you are into all kinds of stuff like this I suggest trying to start a pop-core band... You'd It quite well, and you'd become pretty popular doing it....
#11
well it was certainly major, maybe more so than i expected, and a lot of the riffs sounded cheesy, but i'm sure you knew that already.

i thought the "cute little fill thingy" could have done with a repeat, which is ironic because i think the outro goes on waaaaaay too long. i mean 6 parts with the same arpeggio sweeps is a bit much, for even the most hardcore sweep pickers, so maybe 1 or 2 parts at most before you fade it out would give the sweep a lot more impact.

but overall. very good. (although i wouldn't say it's metal )
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#12
I thought the whole thing was really well done. The only thing I have to complain about is that some parts got a bit too repetitive. The outro arpeggios were sweet, except they too got a bit repetitive. Other than that, great job!
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#14
Hah, when you said jubilant, you weren't joking. This song's great. Although some parts do get repetitive, you're a simple fix away from a great song!
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#15
That was awesome.
Do you think you could get a YouTube video of you playing it or something like that?
#16
Firstly, you're right about the jubilant part, it's happier than I would expect from any metal (except epic metal)

How metal are you intending for it to be? I can picture screaming with this, but a more pop sound with mostly singing would sound better to me.

If you wanted to go for screaming, I would suggest removing some of the cheese, it wouldn't sound right.

If you want a pop sound, I'd quite like to see a bit more structure in the song, you could get two decent songs out of all the riffs you've got there, maybe add to some of the riffs instead of using so many different ones.

It's been said before but I really like the way the drums have been done in this. They make a big difference.

It's definitely a concept worth exploring, keep writing in this style, it's very different from what you'd otherwise get to hear.
#18
Quote by linus.d
wow.. sounds like something Iron Maiden would've done..
really, it's great


wow u have no idea what ur talking about

anyway, my only problem is bringing the word metal into this cause this is almost anti metal(no offense)
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#19
Quote by linus.d
wow.. sounds like something Iron Maiden would've done..
really, it's great

It sounds nothing like maiden. Dunno what Maiden u've been listening to.


I agree with the pop punk think and am going to vere over tho the "emo" side ie taking back sunday, MCR etc.

Not my genre but its a good piece
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#21
ok loads of people have critted this already so its all pretty much been said.
however.
ever heard of Pachabels Canon. (someone made a fretwank version called canon rock).
well that chord progression I V VI III IV I IV V
is really really really irritating because its ****in everywhere, including youre intro.
if i were you id take maybe the chorus and simplify it to slap it on an acoustic.
that would sound good

otherwise its really really good.
8/10 because if pachabel was alive today then id push a screwdriver through his face
and burn his harpsichord, whilst playing chopsticks on it.
hed probably hate that.
'If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.' Albert Einstein
#22
ive just realised that the last paragraph in my last post is signiature material...
'If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.' Albert Einstein
#23
Complaints:
The first distorted chord progression annoyed me, it sounded way too much like Dammit, and I expected the entire thing after the first chord. Then the part after that was kind of good, but not repeated enough. The lead bit was cool, and the next few riffs were okay.

The part with the pedal point riffing was kind of meh as well, but sounded nice. The repetition of the other riff after the pedal point riffing was a bit much, didn't need to be said again. And, the clean guitar part coming in was pretty cool, I guess.

Pros:
That being said, the drums fitted perfectly with the whole thing. Some of the riffs were cool and some were repeated the perfect amount, and the use of pedal point riffing with pop/punk progressions was pretty cool as well. The part at 3:53 kicked ass as well. The solo was great as well.

Overall: 7.8/10
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