#1
Opinions welcomed


"Let Me Pretend"

This is a last request
Sow me just one last thread before I go
Make me a child again
Just let me choose where and when then let me go
Yea, let me pretend

A warm breeze blows from California to me on the East Coast
I'm running down Rehobeth beach in my wet clothes
I think I see you now under two blue skies
The one I dream about behind closed eyes

It takes me home
To that sandy dirt road and that front porch swing
Where I know Mom and Dad are sitting
Still in love
And I'm just eight years old
I don't know it all goes... away

My best friend, by now, you know I've gone again
Away from here, somewhere to start again
Like I've always said
From the beginning
I want to be happy. Isn't that what life's about?
Not riches and glory, but man they sure help out.

But I have just one request
You can take all the rest, what's left
Just make me a child again
Save me from where I've been, and then
Let me pretend

A warm breeze blows from California to me on the East Coast
I'm running down Rehobeth beach in my wet clothes
I think I see you now under two blue skies
The one I dream about behind closed eyes

It takes me home
To that sandy dirt road and that front porch swing
Where I know Mom and Dad are sitting
Still I hug
Cause I'm just eight years old
I don't know it all goes... away

Away
Away
#3
No replies mean you crit none. Go and give some people crits and you will get some, and while you are at it read the rules and tips on critiques.

*reported*