Could you (good)German talking people out there PLEASE help me correct this a bit?

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#1
Hi..

I would really really appreciate it if a German person could repost the following text but without the errors (it doesn't have to be extremely perfect or something but just not that I make a fool of myself please ).
It's a kind of talk I have to do for German class in school, it's my examyear so the grade really counts..
Thank you very very much in advance.


Sonntag abend (2 september) ist ein Soldat umgekommen in Uruzgan, Afghanistan. Sein namme leute Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus das selbste Dorf wo ich wohne und ich habe im auch verschiedene malen gesehen in Geschäften ins Dorf. Er war dreizig Jahre alt, hatte vier Kindern (die ich kenne von Grundschule) und sein Frou ist schwänger von ihm, also das ist sehr jämmerlich.
Das Niederländische militär ist in Afghanistan um die bevolkung zu schützen von die Talibann. Martijn kam um als er auf eine hidden Bombe stande. Sein Commando Gruppe war auf such nach diese Bomben um sie zu entfernen für die Bevolkung. Auf dieses moment gibt es 1730 Niederländische militären in Uruzgan.
Seit dem Anfang der holländischen Mission im Süden von Afghanistan im März 2006, Summe 10 in den holländischen Soldaten sind umgekommen.
Der meisten düpierte sind gekommen durch ungefallen mit Flugzeugen und andere Vehikelen, auch ein militär hat Selbstmord geplegt.
#2
Three questions:

1) When is it due for?
2) Are you female
3) Are you down with exchanging sexual favours?

EDIT: Yes, I speak German, and am correcting your paragraph as... uh... stuff happens.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#3
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#6
This is the second or third thread I've seen from you asking people to correct your languages work.

Do it yourself, UG isn't a teen help site.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#7
Am abend vom Sonntag den 2 september, ist in Uruzgan, Afghanistan ein Soldat umgekommen in. Er hiess Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus den selben Dorf wo ich wohne und ich habe ihm auch verschiedene male in Geschäften gesehen. Er war dreizig Jahre alt, hatte vier Kindern (die ich kenne von der Grundschule) und seine Frau ist schwänger von ihm - eine traurige Geschichte.
Die Niederländische Armiee ist in Afghanistan um die Bevolkung zu schützen von den Taliban. Martijn kam um als er auf eine verdeckte Bombe (mine?) stande. Seine Kommando Gruppe war auf such nach diese Bomben um sie von der Bevolkung zu entfernen. In diesen moment gibt es 1730 Niederländische militären in Uruzgan.
Seit Anfang der Holländischen Mission im Süden von Afghanistan im März 2006, sind 10 Soldaten umgekommen.
Die meisten der Verstorbenen waren getoetet in Flugzeug- und andere ungefallen, und ein Soldat hat Selbstmord gepflegt.

Here you go. What a sad story
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#8
Cmon... german is a crap language! No one understand it exept the man with the mustasch ^^
"I never liked those Deep Purples or those sort of things. I always hated it. I always thought it was a poor man’s Led Zeppelin"
// Angus Young

+1
#9
Quote by raise_the_dead
Am abend vom Sonntag den 2 september, ist in Uruzgan, Afghanistan ein Soldat umgekommen in. Er hiess Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus den selben Dorf wo ich wohne und ich habe ihm auch verschiedene male in Geschäften gesehen. Er war dreizig Jahre alt, hatte vier Kindern (die ich kenne von der Grundschule) und seine Frau ist schwänger von ihm - eine traurige Geschichte.
Die Niederländische Armiee ist in Afghanistan um die Bevolkung zu schützen von den Taliban. Martijn kam um als er auf eine verdeckte Bombe (mine?) stande. Seine Kommando Gruppe war auf such nach diese Bomben um sie von der Bevolkung zu entfernen. In diesen moment gibt es 1730 Niederländische militären in Uruzgan.
Seit Anfang der Holländischen Mission im Süden von Afghanistan im März 2006, sind 10 Soldaten umgekommen.
Die meisten der Verstorbenen waren getoetet in Flugzeug- und andere ungefallen, und ein Soldat hat Selbstmord gepflegt.

Here you go. What a sad story

True, very very sad indeed.

Quote by Thewolf_and_man
Cmon... german is a crap language! No one understand it exept the man with the mustasch ^^

Phillistein. German is an amazing language, second only to English.
I hope it doesn't seem, like I'm young, foolish, and green.
Let me in for a minute, you're not my life but I want you in it


O Dayya, te echaré de menos, siempre

Y siempre
Y para siempre
#10
Quote by Thewolf_and_man
Cmon... german is a crap language! No one understand it exept the man with the mustasch ^^

German's an awesome language. I'd love to be able to speak it.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#11
Quote by Dinkydaisy
This is the second or third thread I've seen from you asking people to correct your languages work.

Do it yourself, UG isn't a teen help site.


If you don't like me using the pit as a little homework help, why do you bother to keep looking in my threads then?
I tried to do it as best as I could myself using these online dictionairy stuff but I just wanted a German to look it over to take the big dumb errors out of it, and I totally understand it if people don't feel like correcting my sh1t but since I did get the corrected story it only shows how loving and thight the UG family is !

THANK YOU raise_the_dead!! If you ever need anything Dutch to be translated just call me

and yes it's a very sad story...

Well, thanks again ! Hopefully this is the last time I bother anyone with my homework..
#12
I haven't had a German lesson in two years and can barely speak it now, but I can translate that word for word.

WTH 0_0
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#13
I think the biggest problem is that you're not spitting whilst you type it.
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#14
i fairly well understood the story. took a few years of german in high school. havent really used or learned any in about 1.5 years though.

looks like its already been corrected for you. i doubt it would have made it any better than what you had anyway.
#15
Quote by Cizzie

THANK YOU raise_the_dead!! If you ever need anything Dutch to be translated just call me



Thank you, but my Dutch is pretty good. Besides I can't call someone if I don't have their number

I would recommend you just go through it one more time, it may not be 100% right, but should be good enough.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#16
What's the story in English? I haven't done German in over a year and I can only get a basic understanding of what's going on
#17
Quote by Cizzie
If you don't like me using the pit as a little homework help, why do you bother to keep looking in my threads then?
I tried to do it as best as I could myself using these online dictionairy stuff but I just wanted a German to look it over to take the big dumb errors out of it, and I totally understand it if people don't feel like correcting my sh1t but since I did get the corrected story it only shows how loving and thight the UG family is !

THANK YOU raise_the_dead!! If you ever need anything Dutch to be translated just call me

and yes it's a very sad story...

Well, thanks again ! Hopefully this is the last time I bother anyone with my homework..


......


#18
A Dutch father of four (with another on the way) was Killed In Action in Afghanistan on the 2nd September. His name was Martijn Rosier, and was involved in dismantling hidden bombs there when he stepped on one and was killed. There are 1730 Dutch soldiers stationed in that city, ten of them deceased. Most of those were killed in accidents, one committed suicide.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#19
Quote by raise_the_dead
Am abend vom Sonntag den 2 september, ist in Uruzgan, Afghanistan ein Soldat umgekommen in. Er hiess Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus den selben Dorf wo ich wohne und ich habe ihm auch verschiedene male in Geschäften gesehen. Er war dreizig Jahre alt, hatte vier Kindern (die ich kenne von der Grundschule) und seine Frau ist schwänger von ihm - eine traurige Geschichte.
Die Niederländische Armiee ist in Afghanistan um die Bevolkung zu schützen von den Taliban. Martijn kam um als er auf eine verdeckte Bombe (mine?) stande. Seine Kommando Gruppe war auf such nach diese Bomben um sie von der Bevolkung zu entfernen. In diesen moment gibt es 1730 Niederländische militären in Uruzgan.
Seit Anfang der Holländischen Mission im Süden von Afghanistan im März 2006, sind 10 Soldaten umgekommen.
Die meisten der Verstorbenen waren getoetet in Flugzeug- und andere ungefallen, und ein Soldat hat Selbstmord gepflegt.

Here you go. What a sad story

Wouldn't it be er heisst?
Quote by corduroyEW
Cheap amps are "that bad". They suck up your tone like cocaine at Kate Moss' party.


I am Michael!
#20
Quote by BlackLuster
True, very very sad indeed.


referred this to the story itself or to the mistakes in his "correction" ? :P
Never trust a woman when she says "BRB"
#21
Quote by tubab0y
Wouldn't it be er heisst?


It would be, if he was still alive.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#22
Quote by The-Dogma
referred this to the story itself or to the mistakes in his "correction" ? :P


I'm sorry...

.. for you, that is, if you consider the minor errors of a native German speaker to be a greater sin than the death of a father and a husband.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#23
Quote by Cizzie

It's a kind of talk I have to do for German class in school, it's my examyear so the grade really counts..


... perhaps he would get a better grade if there was at least one sentence without any mistake
Never trust a woman when she says "BRB"
#24
Quote by tubab0y
Wouldn't it be er heisst?

no "er heisst" is the present tense, "er hiess" is the imperfect.

german is the joint bestest language
Quote by Kensai
Maybe you've heard what the ladies say: "Once you go 77mm you don't go back"
#25
Am Sonntag Abend, dem 2. September, kam ein Soldat in Uruzgan, Afghanistan, um. Sein Name war Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus dem Dorf in dem auch ich wohne und ich habe ihn auch einige male in Geschäften hier im Dorf gesehen. Er war 30 Jahre alt, hatte vier Kinder (die ich aus der Grundschule kenne) und seine Frau ist schwanger von ihm, was ich sehr traurig finde.
Das niederländische Militär ist in Afghanistan um die Bevölkerung vor den Taliban zu beschützen. Martijn kam um als er auf eine Mine trat. Seine Commandogruppe suchte diese Minen, um sie für die Bevölkerung zu entfernen. In diesem Moment befinden sich 1730 niederländische Soldaten in Uruzgan.
Seit dem Beginn der holländischen Mission im Süden Afghanistans im März 2006, kamen insgesamt 10 holländische Soldaten um. Die meisten von ihnen kamen durch Unfälle mit Flugzeugen und anderen Vehikeln um, ein Soldat beging Selbstmord.


sry if there are still any mistakes in it, it's almost 02:00 here ^^
Never trust a woman when she says "BRB"
#26
Ah, my bad. I neglected to read past the first couple sentences. That would affect it.
Quote by corduroyEW
Cheap amps are "that bad". They suck up your tone like cocaine at Kate Moss' party.


I am Michael!
#27
Quote by The-Dogma
Am Sonntag Abend, dem 2. September, kam ein Soldat in Uruzgan, Afghanistan, um. Sein Name war Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus dem Dorf in dem auch ich wohne und ich habe ihn auch einige male in Geschäften hier im Dorf gesehen. Er war 30 Jahre alt, hatte vier Kinder (die ich aus der Grundschule kenne) und seine Frau ist schwanger von ihm, was ich sehr traurig finde.
Das niederländische Militär ist in Afghanistan um die Bevölkerung vor den Taliban zu beschützen. Martijn kam um als er auf eine Mine trat. Seine Commandogruppe suchte diese Minen, um sie für die Bevölkerung zu entfernen. In diesem Moment befinden sich 1730 niederländische Soldaten in Uruzgan.
Seit dem Beginn der holländischen Mission im Süden Afghanistans im März 2006, kamen insgesamt 10 holländische Soldaten um. Die meisten von ihnen kamen durch Unfälle mit Flugzeugen und anderen Vehikeln um, ein Soldat beging Selbstmord.


sry if there are still any mistakes in it, it's almost 02:00 here ^^


So, there's like, what, a grand total of about five changes you made to my correction?
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#28
no, if you compare the texts carefully you'll notice a lot of changes ... like i said, in almost every sentences ^^
not all of them are corrected "mistakes", some are only stylistic changes. not necessary, but since it's for school it ...
Never trust a woman when she says "BRB"
#29
Meh, whatever. My German isn't 100% and it was past midnight, so I'll just take your word for it.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#31
I used to learn German in school... now all i can remember is "Das ist meine Hamburger!!!"
LollipopSkeletonsLollipopSkeletons
LollipopSkeletonsLollipopSkeletons
#32
Thank you very much The-Dogma for also correcting!!
Oh and to people refering to me as a "he" I'm a "she", okay?
#33
German sucks. They can say whatever they want, but it always comes out as "Exterminate the Jews" to me.
I mean, why would you want to speak a language that makes you sound mad all the time? It'd be like talking like me, only with a really ugly language.
#34
Quote by Renka
German sucks. They can say whatever they want, but it always comes out as "Exterminate the Jews" to me.
I mean, why would you want to speak a language that makes you sound mad all the time? It'd be like talking like me, only with a really ugly language.



Pfft, said the Swede.


Although I'm not a huge fan of German myself, I do like Dutch though .
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#35
Quote by The-Dogma
Am Sonntag Abend, dem 2. September, kam ein Soldat in Uruzgan, Afghanistan, um. Sein Name war Martijn Rosier. Der Soldat kam aus dem Dorf in dem auch ich wohne und ich habe ihn auch einige male in Geschäften hier im Dorf gesehen. Er war 30 Jahre alt, hatte vier Kinder (die ich aus der Grundschule kenne) und seine Frau ist schwanger von ihm, was ich sehr traurig finde.
Das niederländische Militär ist in Afghanistan um die Bevölkerung vor den Taliban zu beschützen. Martijn kam um als er auf eine Mine trat. Seine Commandogruppe suchte diese Minen, um sie für die Bevölkerung zu entfernen. In diesem Moment befinden sich 1730 niederländische Soldaten in Uruzgan.
Seit dem Beginn der holländischen Mission im Süden Afghanistans im März 2006, kamen insgesamt 10 holländische Soldaten um. Die meisten von ihnen kamen durch Unfälle mit Flugzeugen und anderen Vehikeln um, ein Soldat beging Selbstmord.


sry if there are still any mistakes in it, it's almost 02:00 here ^^

i couldn't find any mistakes in there and i'm a german so here you go!
#36
Im german but I'm not gonna read all of that xD
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#37
German is a cool languge, but it always sound so angry.
Even "I love you" sounds like a death threat.
time machine. Inadvertently, I had created a
#39
^ OMG that language is the most hilarious thing ever.

Whenever I was watching Swiss television, I always found the commercial breaks more entertaining than the movie being shown
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#40
Quote by The-Dogma
referred this to the story itself or to the mistakes in his "correction" ? :P

His story. Truly saddening.

Quote by jallas
no "er heisst" is the present tense, "er hiess" is the imperfect.

german is the joint bestest language

Woo!! +1 to the infinity!!
I hope it doesn't seem, like I'm young, foolish, and green.
Let me in for a minute, you're not my life but I want you in it


O Dayya, te echaré de menos, siempre

Y siempre
Y para siempre
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