#1
You've had your turn in the limelight...
You fell for it,
Now you feel for it...
Your eager eyes are full of joy,
It will be a pleasure to see them weep,
I think it's time for you to leave...

Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Hey hey hey,

We ate you up and didn't leave a crumb...
We used you and abused you,
We had our thrills,
We had our jollies,
We had our fun,
Now you're lying broken-hearted,
Another crushed dream under your belt...
With no sympathy we tell you now,

Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Hey hey hey,

You gave us your everything,
It didn't last us long...
Now its time for you to sing,
Sing your sad swan song...

The spotlight has moved on...
You've lost your gleem,
You've lost your sheen,
We're not your friends on which to lean,
Go back home defeated child,
Walk in shame as we've broken your wings,
No more wind at your back,
No more fans to cheer you on,
Lick your wounds,
Nurse your soul,
Maybe you'll get back up someday...
Now we spit on you and say,

Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Hey hey hey,

Get up off the ground young child,
Get out of the limelight foolish child,
You've exhausted yourself,
And we've depleted you...
#3
Quote by FrightKing
You've had your turn in the limelight...
You fell for it,
Now you feel for it...
Your eager eyes are full of joy,
It will be a pleasure to see them weep,
I think it's time for you to leave...

Powerful. I love the 'eager eyes....see them weep' part. Great.

Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Hey hey hey,

Definitely a punk song then?

We ate you up and didn't leave a crumb...
We used you and abused you,
We had our thrills,
We had our jollies,
We had our fun,
Now you're lying broken-hearted,
Another crushed dream under your belt...
With no sympathy we tell you now,

Again, great. Don't really like the word 'jollies' in there, think there is a better word for this then that. Seems too childish to me.

Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Hey hey hey,

You gave us your everything,
It didn't last us long...
Now its time for you to sing,
Sing your sad swan song...

Doesn't do it for me here mate. Sing your sad swan song? Sounds terribly fake to me. Then again, each to his own.

The spotlight has moved on...
You've lost your gleem,
You've lost your sheen,
We're not your friends on which to lean,
Go back home defeated child,
Walk in shame as we've broken your wings,
I love that line. Brilliant.
No more wind at your back,
No more fans to cheer you on,
Lick your wounds,
Nurse your soul,
Maybe you'll get back up someday...
Now we spit on you and say,

Once again, this is good. Keeps in pace with the other stanzas, and is definitely promising.

Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Get up get out,
Hey hey hey,

Get up off the ground young child,
Get out of the limelight foolish child,
You've exhausted yourself,
And we've depleted you...

Child is used a little too much, I think. Love the last too lines though.

Overall, I think this piece is great. I just read a book about the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang, and this fits exactly how they treat the women who choose to ride with them. A great piece, with great timing for me



Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=666323
#4
Quote by Mr Montana
Sounds like it could make a good punk/indie song?


Yeah thats how it goes in my head.