#1
A friend told me to write a love song. So I did.

Cat Nip
Music and lyrics by Johnny Skullfuck

I love you, you’re good to me
But you always leave me on Saturday
Friday night’s fun but I start to worry
I only wanna be your honey
I’m bored of this club, I need a buzz
First time we met I fell in love
Introduced by a Columbian guy
You wouldn’t blow, but you would blow my mind

I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!

Not hungry for love any more
I know just what I am looking for
I arch my back, I hiss and scratch
I don’t really care about chasing snatch
Afterwards you feel like you raped a nun
You laugh manically, cough, drool and foam
And convince yourself you’re percieved with contempt
Just to justify this experiment

I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!

My spine is frost, my brain’s afire
My fingers twitch with desire
I try to breathe, but it’s too late
Tarnished iron lungs will never work again
A pained expression preserved in time
My heart’s cremated and quicklimed
I’ve amounted to nothing, so I like to forget
That I should have stuck to cigarettes

I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!


PS.) I'm happy to crit back, so be sure to leave me a link!
Last edited by BrianApocalypse at Sep 7, 2007,
#2
A friend told me to write a love song. So I did.

Cat Nip
Music and lyrics by Johnny Skullfuck

I love you, you’re good to me
But you always leave me on Saturday
Friday night’s fun but I start to worry
I only wanna be your honey
I’m bored of this club, I need a buzz
First time we met I fell in love
Introduced by a Columbian guy
You wouldn’t blow, but you would blow my mind

Change the last line and alter the rhyme scheme and worry and honey is sounding really cheesy

I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!

Not hungry for love any more
I know just what I am looking for
I arch my back, I hiss and scratch
I don’t really care about chasing snatch--->change rhyme ur overdoing it and its forced
Afterwards you feel like you raped a nun
You laugh manically, cough, drool and foam
And convince yourself you’re percieved with contempt
Just to justify this experiment

last 2 line seems forced maybe I'm not singing it right


I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!

My spine is frost, my brain’s afire
My fingers twitch with desire
I try to breathe, but it’s too late
Tarnished iron lungs will never work again
A pained expression preserved in time
My heart’s cremated and quicklimed
I’ve amounted to nothing, so I like to forget
That I should have stuck to cigarettes

liked this stanza a lot because it had my favourite thing Cigg. other then that tweak some line to have more flow

I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
I gotta get me some Cat Nip
ooh yeah!


PS.) I'm happy to crit back, so be sure to leave me a link!


Alter the chorus . in the end it's not cutting out. An alliteration will be good.
ur verses start with a good flow but in last 3 lines they sound little forced like i said it can be me.Some of the lines are really good and overall i liked it but not loved it

Hope this helps. There's a link in the Sig. if you're returning


Andy
Hi
#3
Cheers andy.

I consciously don't follow rhythmic patterns et cetera, because I write for my voice, which doesn't follow orthodox phrasing. I guess it makes it look messy on paper.

Worry and honey is pretty cheesy though, I agree with you there.

I'll return the favour and crit you back.