#1
so like, new to UG and stuff and decided to post ONE of my songs here and see how it faired according to some of the members here ( by some, I mean those who read and reply, because those who read and not reply are practically useless to me, right?? )


Bombs Away

You still provoke my admiration
what a flawless piece of art
so many colors in a single
flash~

You really have outdone your self now
you're leaving me behind

I'll admit, you have come to be in a class of your own.
Now you can make your own show.

Tell them, not to panic
tell them, to evacuate
and then cast your bombs away
Show them, your great talent
show them, leave them all in awe

Show them with a single flash.

There's still one question to be answered
what's your reason for this
is it to bring about revenge or
display your art
so they'll know, that you're someone that they just cannot deny
now you strike the match again

Tell them, not to panic
tell them, to evacuate
and then cast your bombs away
Show them, your great talent
show them, leave them all in awe

Show them with a single flash.

Tell them, not to panic
tell them, to evacuate
and then cast your bombs away
Show them, your great talent
show them, leave them all in awe

Show them with a single flash

Show them with a single flash

Show them with a single flash


(umm...btw, the second chorus section is supposed to be sung a tad differently as to not to sound entirely the same 0.0 ...or something....)
When everything else fails...format.
#2
Well overall it's a pretty decent song, not a lyrical masterpiece (but what is?), but nicely done, The title is catchy and I like it, keep working on this to make it into so much more, the imagery here is also very good, the whole song seems like a story thats unravelling itself in front of me, nice work!

Feel free to crit my song in my sig, tell me what you think

Led Zepper
#3
Pretty good, i like the chorus, i can really hear it in my head.
Birdie Birdie in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like Sugar, Tastes like sap.....OMG ITS BIRDIE CRAP!
#4
thanks! ^^ I'll try to upload a demo of it sometime in the future...the very futuristic future...
When everything else fails...format.