#1
Just something I wrote. I think its pretty clear but if you dont get it ask and I shall tell you what it means. Naturally crit for crit leave a link for me and ill give you a return favour. Constructive please, dont just say it was good say what you liked etc. Thats all.


The key its in the…

Trapped in a cage of mind
The key is in our words
Under the falling snow
I tried to set myself free
But the words were wrong
The key didn’t fit
It never does

The cell holds riches
They send the owner mad
Searching for that key
To let the treasure out
For what use is a treasure?
If there is no one to keep it from?

Our only true limitation is not the sky, but our language
#2
Quote by Feel bad inc.
Just something I wrote. I think its pretty clear but if you dont get it ask and I shall tell you what it means. Naturally crit for crit leave a link for me and ill give you a return favour. Constructive please, dont just say it was good say what you liked etc. Thats all.


The key its in the…

Trapped in a cage of mind
The key is in our words<- i like the multiple meanings of this
Under the falling snow
I tried to set myself free
But the words were wrong
The key didn’t fit
It never does
This flows really well

The cell holds riches
They send the owner mad
Searching for that key
To let the treasure out
For what use is a treasure?
If there is no one to keep it from?
This song is like one big metaphore, one good big metaphore.

Our only true limitation is not the sky, but our language
There is alot of mixed meaning in the last line but said really well


Overall i like it as a poem, it flows really well and has really creative structure. But i con't see this as a song. Just a really good poem. Good Job.
P.S. No need for return Crit
Birdie Birdie in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like Sugar, Tastes like sap.....OMG ITS BIRDIE CRAP!