#1
Kinda spur of the moment poem, my social commentary for the day. I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about with this, or atleast I think its pretty clear. Let me know what you think. c4c as always.

Cheers,
Wes

Awkward in your own way
Culture's backwards, maybe sideways
You can count it on a finger
Go and tell us what what we missed

See, they let you bitch if you want to
But only if and when you're told to
Say it under-the-breath and empty
Something to make her shake her fist

Care for the children on your tv
Eighty cents, that's pretty easy
Don't call and fix the problem
Find your own, you know you like them

Silver screen ideas reach your face
Halfway drunk, a public place
Dad's weekly goes to the bailiff
They tell you to find your faith

Go to church, you're forced to
Hide from the basket before you
Midnight brick through a stained window
The little boy wished you missed

Get an advocate, you've got problems
Time to author a condition, one unclaimed
Now you can subscribe to this daily
All you need to tell us is your name


Thanks for reading.
#2


Awkward in your own way
Culture's backwards, maybe sideways

You can count it on a finger
Go and tell us what what we missed

See, they let you bitch if you want to
But only if and when you're told to
Say it under-the-breath and empty
Something to make her shake her fist
[good flow so far]

Care for the children on your tv
Eighty cents, that's pretty easy
Don't call and fix the problem
Find your own, you know you like them


Silver screen ideas reach your face
Halfway drunk, a public place
Dad's weekly goes to the bailiff
They tell you to find your faith
['in a public place' flows better for me, but thats just personally. Love the 'silver screen ideas]

Go to church, you're forced to
Hide from the basket before you
Midnight brick through a stained window
The little boy wished you missed
[Stained window? Stained still makes me think of church, maybe a dirty window?]

Get an advocate, you've got problems
Time to author a condition, one unclaimed
Now you can subscribe to this daily
All you need to tell us is your name

[The last part sticks, I like it.]


Overall it was good, a few things that I had to reread but just little things.