#1
So basically, I live in a set of condominiums/apartment things occupied by recently married couples like my husband and I. Some old people as well, so as you can guess not to much happens around here.

It all started near last Fall. I noticed two guys sitting on their second-story porch overlooking the front lot near where I live. I get a strange feeling that they are staring at me so I dart in between two buildings. I noticed that they lowered their voices, so I got a little freaked. This raised suspicion, so I carried on doing it for a while, then Winter rolled around, and even after that. This became a regular thing for me. So I'll tell you about my recent routine...

Naturally, after watching T.V. from nine o'clock, I'll head on out to see if those mysterious people will reveal any more about themselves. May I add that every time I go out I feel more then ever that they are watching me...very creepy. I get nothing, so go back inside and make myself some supper. I turn on the T.V. (this is practically every night btw) just before 10.00 but it's always crappy news or whatever. So I decided to go out again.. same old thing, feeling watched...darting in between the buildings... etc

But let me tell you, the other day one of them followed me! I came out at 9:30 and one of them was sitting on the porch... I was very scared. Stupidly I came out again (it's become a habit now) at 10:00 and feel like a person is following me more than anything I've ever felt. I looked around me, got very scared and began pacing around in circles for a minute or so. I go in between the buildings (Notice a pattern?) but since I'm scared I run more deeply between my two comfort zones.

Since the lights went off in my house, I had a Flashlight with me. In a stoke of genius/stupidity I turn it on to scare away any body following me... Then I swear I saw someone in the bushes. I absolutely freak out, thinking I'm going to get killed. I am only a 30 year old woman! So I see this tree and begin to climb it frantically. This is when I fall onto my hands and knees, dropping the flashlight. It makes a really obvious metallic bang to I think I'm really screwed.

A burst of courage pumps through my veins and I think fast. I get up, turn the flashlight off and walk very briskly in the opposite direction. I make it back to my house, dripping in sweat. Not knowing what to do next.

Am I being stalked, UG?
#8
i think the more important question is...there are women on the internet?

i think it may be more your own paranoia getting to you but i guess you never know

edit: this has to be a joke
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#9
Not funny
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#11
I call BS on this whole thing. So shut up and go away.
You cannot choose the little time you're given in this world. You enter bare and unclothed, provided only with intelligence enough to choose how you spend your time. You always have a choice. Always. Though be warned, your choice can rarely be undone
#12
Nice try.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#14
Quote by slash-120
haha

has no one else seen the other thread?



Yes.
You cannot choose the little time you're given in this world. You enter bare and unclothed, provided only with intelligence enough to choose how you spend your time. You always have a choice. Always. Though be warned, your choice can rarely be undone
#16
Quote by _Mayday_
So basically, I live in a set of condominiums/apartment things occupied by recently married couples like my husband and I. Some old people as well, so as you can guess not to much happens around here.

It all started near last Fall. I noticed two guys sitting on their second-story porch overlooking the front lot near where I live. I get a strange feeling that they are staring at me so I dart in between two buildings. I noticed that they lowered their voices, so I got a little freaked. This raised suspicion, so I carried on doing it for a while, then Winter rolled around, and even after that. This became a regular thing for me. So I'll tell you about my recent routine...

Naturally, after watching T.V. from nine o'clock, I'll head on out to see if those mysterious people will reveal any more about themselves. May I add that every time I go out I feel more then ever that they are watching me...very creepy. I get nothing, so go back inside and make myself some supper. I turn on the T.V. (this is practically every night btw) just before 10.00 but it's always crappy news or whatever. So I decided to go out again.. same old thing, feeling watched...darting in between the buildings... etc

But let me tell you, the other day one of them followed me! I came out at 9:30 and one of them was sitting on the porch... I was very scared. Stupidly I came out again (it's become a habit now) at 10:00 and feel like a person is following me more than anything I've ever felt. I looked around me, got very scared and began pacing around in circles for a minute or so. I go in between the buildings (Notice a pattern?) but since I'm scared I run more deeply between my two comfort zones.

Since the lights went off in my house, I had a Flashlight with me. In a stoke of genius/stupidity I turn it on to scare away any body following me... Then I swear I saw somexone in the bushes. I absolutely freak out, thinking I'm going to get killed. I am only a 30 year old woman! So I see this tree and begin to climb it frantically. This is when I fall onto my hands and knees, dropping the flashlight. It makes a really obvious metallic bang to I think I'm really screwed.

A burst of courage pumps through my veins and I think fast. I get up, turn the flashlight off and walk very briskly in the opposite direction. I make it back to my house, dripping in sweat. Not knowing what to do next.

Am I being stalked, UG?


What?
Friends, applaud the comedy is over.


I'd dance with you but...


#17
Quote by bequickorbedead
haha


'tis funny, you phail.

You need to have read the other thread...

No I've seen it, we find out what happens soon right?
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#23
either one its a joke, 2 your paranoid, or 3 call the cops.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#25



hahahahahahahaha
--F-F-T-S---
--EbOla----
---name pending?--

Quote by PlayMadness
No. Everybody dies. And one day, given that your relationship doesn't crash and burn like so many do, one of you will end up deep in sorrow while watching the other one die.


#29
Oh, that is truly brilliant.

Kudos to you threadstarter!
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It doesn't. I like jerking off, but I'm sure as hell not gonna do it with my Dad.
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I <3 you!
Yes it is!
Second one to me

Kids, drugs are dangerous. Stay safe.
#30
Quote by bequickorbedead
The fact that so many people don't understand just adds to the humour of it...
Yeah that does make it funnier
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#35
Quote by Liberation
This is a ****ing waste of bandwidth.

*Reported*


You're no fun.
Friends, applaud the comedy is over.


I'd dance with you but...


#36
Quote by Liberation
This is a ****ing waste of bandwidth.

*Reported*

You're just grouchy because you didn't get it.