#1
Crit4Crit


Dead Roses (Straight From The Heart)

(Verse 1)
The hot sun beating on my face
I've finally lost the race
I wanted to taste something real
I've lost the ability to feel
Can someone put life in me?

(Chorus 1)
I'm not burning my soul for you anymore
You can stay in the dark
Leave me shattered

(Verse 2)
I thought I found my shelter
My home, my love, my shade
Because of another life, mine is wasted
You pushed me into my own grave
You never even left roses!

(Repeat Chorus 1)

(Bridge)
What goes around comes around
You'll get yours one day
And once I am found
I'll be in a mental grave
Where your dead roses will lay

*Solo*

(Repeat Chorus 1)

(Chorus 2)
I'm not burning my soul for you anymore
You can stay in the dark
Leave me in pieces
Leave me with a dead heart
To match the roses

**Solo Outro**

Crit4Crit
Quote by cpt_pimp
my last fail was breaking up with my gf.

that's going to suck for a while


Quote by leg end
Well, not really haha!


Last edited by popeye100 at Sep 11, 2007,
#4
i changed a little bit, but not a whole lot because it would ruin the flow with the music behind it
Quote by cpt_pimp
my last fail was breaking up with my gf.

that's going to suck for a while


Quote by leg end
Well, not really haha!


#6
I've never really like the theme of death and graves and what not but it wasn't too bad. As a few other people have said, it did not flow well at all. It rhymed in some places but not others, and when you read it out it just doesn't feel too rhythmically correct, but hey, maybe it'll sound good when you sing it?

I also think adding "(straight from the heart)" makes it a little corny, like an 80's love song.

Here's mine: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=670043
"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, your eyes will get sore after a while."
#7
^^Dude I see what your saying, but uh, its not a love song. It's song that I wrote after a girl I loved, "shattered" my heart. the theme is basically telling everyone that the one I loved hurt more than anyother.^^
Quote by cpt_pimp
my last fail was breaking up with my gf.

that's going to suck for a while


Quote by leg end
Well, not really haha!