#1
Saw this elsewhere and decided to share with everyone


The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person
will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of
the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the
e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students , Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep
her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
Geostati on 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he
could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct
hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty
through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
Within two h ours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships
were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of ****ING
TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch.

(Rebecca)

**** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - *****.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one
Proud Owner of a Fender Jazz 24 V

Private Simmons of the Red vs. Blue club. PM Fret13 to join.

Things to come:
Carvin or Trace-elliot rig
EBS Valvedrive (Newest edition )
#2


That is one of the greatest things I've ever heard.
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

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Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#5
Quite.
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cakemonster..you are truly my hero
HONK
Quote by DeSean
HONK!I like your cake.
Quote by olif8
And Cakeface, why didn't you sig my

HONK!

from that other thread?


Quote by LordBishek

I can't stand it any longer.


HONK


Honk if you love cake! HONK!!
#6
Okay...
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#9
Lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Satan isn't inside a guitar pick. He's in here. In our hearts. He's what makes us not want to go to work, or excercise or tell the truth." -
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I wish I was gay.

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Even though he's an ugly woman, my favorite is john mayer.
#11
f****ing epic
UG Villians Club

DRACULA

Quote by James_Water2
I want to bring sexy back and then leave with it and when everyone is like holy crap where did sexy go I'd say I have Sexy and im bring it back again. But then Sexy will leave me and i will be homeless.
#13


Great.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
#14
****ing hilarious. that made my day. i can only hope that it is 100% authentic
Quote by Dimebag22
This might just be the smartest guy in The Pit. I didn't believe Ethan when he told me there were smart people in The Pit But I was wrong.

yeah, thats me

member 42 of the Iron Maiden are gods club. PM revelations to join
#15
LMFAO haha
very frustrated guitar player

член в русской группе UG! PM Vindiction to join!


And the worst comeback in the history of UG is:
Quote by ketchup_cum
your moms an is


#16
Love that shit.
Quote by herby190
Every thread I've seen you in has been a complete success. Yay you!

Quote by theking182
i'm voting for GNiCk89. i just like how he speaks TO me, not AT me.

Quote by \m/Angus\m/
Yea, Sublime is a great band. You have an Underoath icon, so I think your opinion doesn't matter.
#20
pretty sure ive seen this on myspace....
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#21
Haha rofl I love Gary and the teacher's so awesome... I just hope it's real!
Note: Sorry if my grammar and/or vocabulary isn't very good, English is my 2nd language!

Quote by Resiliance
you show me yours and I'll show you mine!


If you're wondering where I've been gone, click here!
#26
Quote by I floss daily
Where'd you find that, TS?



Harmony central bass forum haha
Proud Owner of a Fender Jazz 24 V

Private Simmons of the Red vs. Blue club. PM Fret13 to join.

Things to come:
Carvin or Trace-elliot rig
EBS Valvedrive (Newest edition )