#1
Fell Apart Without Salvation


All I know is to give
All I know is this ending
I cant hurt anymore
I cant be forever
What was once in my heart
What was once fell apart
Need to go back to start
Need to go back

All I know is gone
All I know is nothing
I cant hurt
I cant be
What was my heart
Fell apart
Need to go back
Need to go back to start

Only in salvation
Can there be redemption
Only in time can I find
The courage to tread past the line

What was left of me
Sipped right through the seams
I will not pretend no more
What we had you tore

All I know is to give
All I know is this ending
I cant hurt anymore
I cant be forever
What was once in my heart
What was once fell apart
Need to go back to start
Need to go back before we fell apart
#2
sounds good for a song, but ill warn you the lyrics are awfully cliche. im sure you could put some good music under that though, that would be cool.
#3
Quote by shadowskill515
Fell Apart Without Salvation


All I know is to give
All I know is this ending
I cant hurt anymore
I cant be forever
What was once in my heart
What was once fell apart
Need to go back to start
Need to go back

I like the idea of this part, but I am really not liking the double repetitive of every first word.....but the idea is nice

All I know is gone
All I know is nothing
I cant hurt
I cant be
What was my heart
Fell apart
Need to go back
Need to go back to start

Once again with the double things and still is going a bit cliche, but I am still liking the overall view of it

Only in salvation
Can there be redemption
Only in time can I find
The courage to tread past the line

Definitely my favorite part of the song, it quickly breaks the clicheness and puts a solid image in

What was left of me
Sipped right through the seams
I will not pretend no more
What we had you tore

Like this part second best...but the rhyming seemed a bit forced

All I know is to give
All I know is this ending
I cant hurt anymore
I cant be forever
What was once in my heart
What was once fell apart
Need to go back to start
Need to go back before we fell apart



Really didn't like it because of the double thing but overall I would say 7/10...
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)
#4
I actually kinda liked the doubles,
and i also think this could make a good song.
but the problame is that the entire song seems to be too repetetive-
it seems like you just using other words to say it,instead of rephrasing your meaning...


crit me back please^^