#1
like nearly all my songs i post up, its not finished.

but anyway, to the story...as you may have noticed with most of my songs, i like to try and add something different, and after listeing to sepultura for a bit, it hit me, BONGOS!!

i know its not original, but still something different nonetheless

so this is my metal song with bongos (i love the sound of bongos)
Attachments:
bongometal.zip
#2
Would it have vocals? i can hear it working quite well with them.
If you aren't having vocals this is perhaps to repeditive to maintain the interest for the whole 5 minutes
I like how it changes from the bongos to the drum kit and uses both at the same time.. This would sound wicked recorded! Overall a well structured song with great potential. I'll stay tuned for updates
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#3
yer, its gonna have vocals

cheers for the crit by the way man

and im actually thinking of recording this, once me and our bands singer come up with some lyrics we'll lay down some vocal tracks to add with the recording then ill post it up, buts thats gonna be a while away
#4
Cheers for the crit buddy - and in return:

First off, please bear in mind this is not the type of music I listen to normally, so basically if I say something you disagree with because you hear it a lot usually, you're probably right - I don't really know the ideas used commonly in these sort of songs.

Ok, first off interesting that you used the bongos but other than for originality I can't really see what purpose they served. IMO it's much better once you switch to the drum kit - although tbh that's most likely gpro's fault. Good drum section throughout btw - think you have that nailed pretty much. As for guitars, until bar 26, I can see what you're doing, to build tension, and it does work, but I'd like to see some mid-range bends slightly higher up the fretboard above the C5 chords up until bar 26; if used chromatically you can still keep the tension and it'd just keep things a bit more interesting.

At bar 28, again a personal preference, but for the four bars I'd like to see the chord raised every bar a step along the scale, maybe ending on a dissonant chords (e.g. from your f#5 in 28 maybe go: g5 in 29, g#5 in 30 and then a#5 in 31 before the slide - not perfect, just an idea) - i just think it builds tension again and keeps things interesting. (n.b. if you REALLY want to add tension put in some strings - it probably wouldn't work anywhere else in this song, just adds a different flavour).

From 36 you re-use the guitar idea one time too many - IMO finish it after bar 39, then go for your little break. Nothing wrong after that till 59 - i'm not sure if it's your intent, but the lead line doesn't quite fit with the chord (if you meant this, leave it), you start on a C and the chord includes a C#.

Right onto 85 - this is actually my favourite section of the song, and personally I'd lengthen it, gives a break from the chugging sections (maybe if you continued it on a phrase, start with guitar one fingering a G#/C# - that's 6 fret on 5 string - your G string, 8 fret on 4 string - your C, and 7 fret on 3 string, your F....basically a C# power chord with the high C# lowered a half step.

From 89, again very nice - really really like this section and I feel you should expand it, maybe playing different notes on the low string (8, 10, 12 frets perhaps?) - very good work with the harmonising.

And finally your section from 127 - I assume this is unfinished? If not you desperately need to end on a chord but it's a solid enough riff.

---

So yeah, basic summary points:

- Expand your clean(ish) section and the harmonised ones after it
- Not so much chugging of open C string, switch to some other notes for variety
- Just edit your intro a little bit and add a few more ideas to it

I know I've made a lot of points (but i always do :P) but it's really not bad at all, definitely has potential if you edit it a bit. And again, if you disagree with some of my comments, it's probably cos I just don't 'know' the genre.

Good luck!

Ben
#6
I love you.

The intro made me want to run around a fire in circles, singing and dancing. And then when the guitar came in, it sounded like sex.

I'm not so sure I like the first riff. It's a little too basic for me. But the thing you have at 43 and 47 breaks it up nicely and sounds cool.

The riff at 52 sounds really ****ing cool with the bongos. Like.... REALLY ****ing cool.

I like when you have those little leads after your riffs.

At bar 85, I think youy should have a steel or nylon acoustic instead of the clean electric. It just doesn't sound that good.

Another good riff at 89.

Ah, 125 was excellent, especially when the bongos came back in. Amazing.

This was really good. It actually kind of make me want to make an acoustic metal song with bongos for drums. That would be sick. But anyways... you can crit any of the songs in my sig, or my new acoustic piece, which is on the front page.

Keep making sick music.
I'm a person.
#7
This is probably reiterating what the guy a few posts above me said, but whatever.

Anyways, I like the bongos, just only for a little bit. IMO, I would only use up to the fourth measure. In the las few beats maybe have the guitars come descending in. Then I would just revert to the drum kit. Maybe use the bongos in the middle or chorus, and then again for an outro?
The guitar riffs were good, metally and all. Then you kept adding more and more different riffs which confused the hell out of me. I would keep a few riffs for a chorus/bridge or whatever, a few more for the verses / solo and such, but I think you had like 20 riffs.
And then you had an un-distorted guitar. That sounded cool, but it came out of nowhere. If you're gonna do that, maybe incorporate it earlier on so it doesn't scare me
I may have missed it completely but was there a solo? Anyways there was a 15 -->13 riff that started on the 2nd string and ended on the fourth. Personally, I would make it a bit lower (move it down a string) because it seemed too high compared to the rest of the song. (I just did it and sounded good to me)

-These are just my thoughts/opinions. It's YOUR song, so if you like something, keep it.