I'll start with guitar, it sounded a bit like the two parts didnt match as far as tempo goes sop try using a metronome, also a few mistakes that I could hear. the vocals in the way they were written sound just like every other song i've heard...i want you, i love you, bla blah we've all heard it before, try to spend some time writing your lyrics so that they mean something. the melody sounded like you made it up as you went, it was very random and didnt fit the song, usually when i write i toy with different melodies until i find one alike. and again i you were using a metronome the vocals would of sounded much more in place than they did. this actually could be a very good song if done right, i like where its going..sorry for the constructive criticism but i think this will help you.
hmm i thought it was pretty good a bit too repetitive with the lyrics for me and at times they did go off time a little. i like the recording quality of everything i was wondering what you used to record mainly the vocals because thats what im having trouble getting clean.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=672367 c4c
Hmm well let's see.

The guitars sounded like they had to much effects thrown in. And it sounded like you just played around in the beggining something I have the bad habit of doing also
. The lyrics could definetly shape up a bit and the vocals could be done again.
at times it sounded like you were trying to hard.

Overall the song had 80's pop tone with a 90's mainstream feel and together they didn't quite mix well. Think over the parts of your song so that it won't sound repetitive. I think a different tempo to the song would help too.

Other than that keep playing mate.

and if you don't mind
Smile alot today... okay?
The intro is really cool for the most part on first listen, but lasts just a little too long and the effects seem to see a little forced. When the vocals kick in, the guitar is just a tad slow.

the low vocals around 1:35 sort of clash to the swimmy effecty background music - it's sort of a grungey style they keep going into, and that requires a bit more of kick to the instrumentals.

The bit at 2:50 is a nice break.

Overall, it has interesting instrumentals and some strong hooks, but needs some stylistic tightening.

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